A change in direction.

It's November, and I promised myself I would start writing again this year... well, the year's not over yet, so let see if I can get into the swing of this again!

My work with the menstrual cycle continues but my main focus this year has been meditation, art and stepping out into the world with some new ideas, new experiences and figuring out where I'm at after a long period of recovery and learning to manage my moods and menstrual cycle.

This summer has been intense. So much going on, so much changing and shifting.  You can read all about it on the blog at my main art website www.shaktimandala.co.uk.

4 weeks ago, I was travelling to meet a Shamanic teacher, ready to start a years 1-1 study.  The work had already begun earlier that year when she popped up on Facebook with a friend request and we got chatting. On the way to my first day workshop, everything changed. I had a car accident. I was hit from behind by an 18 tonne lorry. It sounds terrifying right? the blessing is that I don't have any memory of the accident at all.  One minute I was about to make a turn, the next I was lying on a hospital bed. Apparently I'd got out the car and was breathalysed, so despite physically functioning, my brain chose to lose the visual memories. Thank you brain. I suffered a head injury and damaged my shoulder and spent a few hours having x-rays and scans. This came after 8-10 weeks of solid work to prepare art for a London show.  I'd been slowing down, I'd been resting after pushing it all summer, but obviously not quite enough.

The accident was a shock. An abrupt stop. A forceful impact. I had no choice and I didn't see it coming.  When something like this happens you can't help but be forced to stop and re-evaluate, re-assess and recover.  The work I had been doing over the summer was great, I enjoyed it all, however, it is pretty alien to me to create lots of work to sell. I tend to potter along creating what I feel like, enjoying the odd challenge in getting a commission, and only recently (as money becomes tighter and tighter) has there been any need to try and sell my work. I had put aside the inspirations that had been tugging at my harem's all year, in favour of working on things more appropriate to the show I was attending. Since the accident I've realised that that has actually affected me quiet a lot, and I needed a real change in direction to get me back in touch.

I could ramble on forever about everything that has happened, and I may, in future blogs, but for now my intention is to let you know that I have started a Shamanic Art group on Facebook where I will share art tips, progress pics, inspirations, astrology info and techniques to get others starting to live more creatively. My teacher told me after I explained how useless and helpless I was feeling after the accident, that I should think of myself as having beginners eyes, Experiencing a Shamanic death leaves you disorientated and almost wary of the world around you. It got a bit Matrix there for a moment!

If you would like to know more about the Art Group, please check out my other blog post, and my art page www.facebook.com/chaoticatcreations. All are welcome, male and female.

Once I managed to start drawing again, I drew Ganesh. When I looked at the meanings and symbolism of Ganesh I was blown away! couldn't be more appropriate.

Once I had discovered it had been a huge lorry that hit me, Jagannath had come to mind. Hindu God of the Universe. The word Jagannath is where our word juggernaut comes from. A huge, unstoppable force. He is described as the 'ecstatic form of Krishna', albeit a rather strange one. He is the only God that is made out of wood. All others are made from stone or metal. Jagannath is also significant in that I learnt of him through a half century old photo from my Grandmothers collection of pictures taken in India. She must have visited the temple at some point.

So.. yeah... lots happening.  Hopefully you'll hear from me again soon!

Chat it's fate magazine.

Today, my story came out in the August edition of Chat it's fate magazine.  I was contacted by them earlier in the year to share my story about PMDD, the menstrual cycle and my art.  I felt this was a way to raise some awareness of how severe PMS can become, along with how I came to heal myself from the worst symptoms.  If you would like to read my story you can find it in all larger newsagents for the next month.

If you are interested in finding out more about PMDD, please check out my PMDD blog, Meet My PMDD, or visit the UK's National Association for Premenstrual Syndrome (NAPS) or the USA's National Association for Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder.

To find out more about the alternative ways of understanding the menstrual cycle, please have a read through this blog, particularly the article I wrote for Indie Shaman magazine, The Magic of the Menstrual Cycle and my experience at a menstrual workshop with Alexandra Pope.

Sign up to learn more about your menstrual cycle with Red School Online.  Red School Online is a new way to learn about your cycle, with peer support, fantastic learning tools and private group chat.  Go check it out!

Red School also features some of my work in their teaching materials, you can find my poster in my Etsy store.  If you would like to see more of my feminine art work, please visit my gallery over at chaoticat.com.

Pisces New Moon

Tonight is the Pisces New Moon.  At 19.54 (UK Time) this evening, the area of the sky called Pisces will have a total of 7 planets occupying it.  This is a pretty rare line up.  Mars, Venus, Mercury, Chiron, Neptune, the Sun AND now the Moon.

(C)WikimediaCommons

My natal Sun and Mercury are in Pisces in the 11th House, so this moon is bringing up thoughts around friends, groups, organisations and the collective.  It can also highlight how I become my true self, in relation to the collective groups around me.  As it was my birthday just 4 days ago, this new moon and the positions of all the planets will signal the theme of my coming year.

Mercury is still currently retrograde, and as a mercurial being, I often feel the effects of this.  A slowing down, being a little less productive with writing.  It can have an effect with my relationship with my partner too as a Gemini Sun, he too finds himself withdrawing a little during a retrograde, and little arguments or misunderstanding seems to occur.  Mercury goes direct again on March 17th.

The energy has been tense to say the least.  Myself, and many people around me are feeling the energies at play.  It's tense and INTENSE.  We've also just had Mother's Day in the UK.. so women and talk of the mother are all over the web.  Pisces always brings us back to the spiritual matters in life, it reminds us of the need for a spiritual practice, however small and understated.  Symptoms of all this Pisces has been frazzled nerves, daydreaming, strong intuition, messages, signs, intense dreams... being easily distracted... 

(like I just did while writing this.. gazing out the window I notice the roofing on the shed is flapping about very ungraciously in the wind, exposing the wood underneath... it's trying to snow and this could end in shed disaster, so I broke away from the blog to go stick a heavy piece of wood on it)

(oooh... there's the postman at the door with new art materials  **big smiling heart** might as well make a fresh cuppa while I'm up)

The antidote, if you like, is to meditate, to dream.  It IS to take time out and be still and quiet.  It's time to repair, restore and revive.  Getting creative just for creation sake is beneficial right now.  Recognizing and connecting to your source of power.  Honoring it, developing it.

I spent the last couple of days painting.  I haven't painted in a very long time  With more and more ideas flowing freely.  I feel like's I've finally found a way to work on canvas, without compromising my style or changing it too much.  It's exciting, and I feel like I just want to go from canvas to canvas.. create, create, create...

Although now, I find myself a bit lost again.  I'm due to bleed soon.  I've had the warning signs it's imminent.  Last month it came 2 days after new moon.  My cycle has adjusted itself naturally to the moon.  I've been off any form of hormones/birth control for almost 2 years.  I ovulate when the moon is fat and round in the sky, I bleed when the moon is dark and new.
I slept all morning today.  It's freezing outside, with the strong winds and snow showers making it bitter.  I could have happily stayed there, but that nagging little voice that tells me I should be up with the Sun, I should be being productive... so I get up and find something to do.

Although I want to crack on and paint, focus and write, it feel impossible right now.  I think I will happily wander through my day being led in all sorts of directions.  I don't really want to speak to anyone, or be anywhere busy.  The thought of having to pop to the supermarket is not appealing.

My body is preparing to bleed.  It's almost ready.  My mind, as it is so often at this time, is somewhere else.  I'm clumsy and forgetful, easily irritated and feeling very lethargic and tired.  As a mother I have to push through this and find a solution to the kids getting fed this evening and me staying as calm as possible.  Any stress around me now builds up like a gas.  One spark and BOOM...

I don't want any cosmic sized explosions.  I know what I need to do, so all it takes is a little preparation.  All these energies will dissipate slowly over the coming weeks.  This is significant as Pisces is the last sign of the zodiac.  A whole new cycle starts when the Sun moves into Aries.  With all these planets in Pisces it suggests that many cycles are coming to an end.   The planets all move at different speeds, but we see them all arriving at the station at once this year, with them all gearing up to shift into youthful, firey, impulsive Aries.  Mars and the Moon leave tomorrow.  The Sun changes signs March 20th, Venus leaves March 21st and Mercury then moves on April 13th.  Chiron will stay in Pisces till 2019 and Neptune will stay in Pisces until 2025.

The fog will begin to clear.  The light will return.  However uncomfortable the energies are at the moment, know that they will begin to shift soon.  Clarity and energy will return, and hopefully this will coincide with longer days, warmer weather and a few sunny days.

In Gaia's year, the Goddess is almost at pre-ovulation.  The bleeding may even be over, but she's in that limbo land, where Winter is refusing to let go and allow her to move into the Spring.  Patience is needed.  Continue to plan, lay foundations.  You may feel you are champing at the bit, but a false start will only lead to more problems.  This time of year is like the pause between breaths in yoga.  It's where there can be a deepening, and extension of the space.  It's dark and calm.  We will all be able to breathe in deeply again soon and admire the view, but for now we are on our own, in our own little foggy worlds.  Enjoy the peace when you can get it.  Don't sweat the small stuff.  Connect to your higher self and tell them where you want to go, ask them for advice.  Insights for the coming year are in your grasp...  There has never been a better time.

New Moon in Aries

...and words flow out.

If you forget.

I want you to know that no matter what, you are loved, wanted, needed and valued.
I want you to know that no matter how bad you feel, I'll be here to hold your hand and comfort you. I want you to know I love your smile, your laugh and your tears. You represent what it is to be human, and I embrace your honesty and truth. You are unique. You are perfect... and I want you to remember that.

I want you to know that however dark things seem, however unsettled you feel, I am here for you. I want you to realise that within the darkness, great lessons can be learned, for no one walks this Earth in eternal daylight. You do not walk alone, for I am by your side. Night will always turn into day. Day will always turn into night, so lets watch the sunset together and be reminded of how beautiful life is.

Where ever there is a rift, there is a gift. Where ever there is weakness, there is deep strength. You may feel life is hard, challenging, or unfair. That you drew the short straw or were dealt a bad hand. I want you to know there is no such thing, for you are blessed with life, and life is neither black or white, good or bad, but a mixture of the two and all the colours in between.

When times feel bleak, and you are wishing you hadn't been born, remember that I would miss you. You're presence is noted and the world would not be the same without you. No one else is you, only YOU can be you, and to lose that, is to lose something that could never be replaced. You are divine. You are a Goddess. You are my best friend.

I want you to know that you are strong, and with that strength you are an inspiration to others. I want you to know that I will love you whether you are happy or sad, because both have value, and both are essential for your well being.
I want you to know that you are not a mistake, a freak, a weirdo, useless, worthless or a waste of space. You are precious, your life is precious, and I am honored to know you.

If you forget, in a moment of madness that you are all these things and more. I will be there to remind you. If you get scared, I will protect you. If you feel lost, I will find you. No one is better than you, no one has it all, so stop beating yourself up and start accepting yourself. See yourself how I see you, perfect in every way.
The way you were meant to be.

You are divine. You are a Goddess. You are unique. You are perfect.

I love you.


© Cat Stone 2012

Wear RED at New Moon

Today is a New Moon in Aquarius.

The fresh new feeling Aquarius brings is that of 'YES WE CAN!!'  We can change, we can flow, we can achieve the unachievable!
Be brave and allow the flowing energy to carry your thoughts to exciting places.

Use the flow to rid yourself of things that no longer support you.  Look at the coming year and shed the weight that is holding you back, drop it into the river and watch it be carried away.  Look upstream and see what's coming.  Out with the old and in with the new!

Find a water source.  Preferably a flowing river, or the Sea.  If there is no way to reach an outside water source there are ways you can do this indoors...

Write on a small piece of paper or pieces of paper (or if you prefer, on the back of small leaves), things that you wish to rid from your life.  Maybe it's your lack of confidence, maybe it's body weight, maybe it's a person or situation you are not happy with.  Take your notes to a water source and re-read them.  Visualise the things you wish to see flow out of your life.  Be mindful, be aware....  Drop the notes into the river/sea/water source and watch them leave you.  Sit for a while and say goodbye.  Then turn your thoughts to the new.  The things you wish to bring into your life.  Meditate for a while on these things.  Let your mind go, let it travel, let it dream of how life will be in six months time.  Give thanks for being heard by the Universe, and go about your day, keeping in mind the new things, and forgetting about the old.

If you cannot leave the house, you can do this exercise by writing on pieces of tissue (toilet roll) and flushing them down the toilet!

Be sure to make a note, write down, or create a vision board for the things you wish to create and bring into your life.  Make a contract with yourself and the Universe.  It is harder to break a written contract, even if that is with yourself.

WEAR RED!!

Join up with the Red Day group on Facebook www.facebook.com/RedDayWomen and join other women who are wearing red at every New Moon.  This helps us re-connect at every new cycle with our own female cycles, and is a good way to mark the New Moon energies.  Maybe you don't own any red clothes, or maybe it's not your colour!  If that's the case, paint your toenails red, or stick on that slinky red underwear you normally save for 'special' occasions.  This IS a special occasion!!  Wear red at New Moon and re-charge yourself for the coming lunar month with the energy red brings.

With love ♥