A change in direction.

It's November, and I promised myself I would start writing again this year... well, the year's not over yet, so let see if I can get into the swing of this again!

My work with the menstrual cycle continues but my main focus this year has been meditation, art and stepping out into the world with some new ideas, new experiences and figuring out where I'm at after a long period of recovery and learning to manage my moods and menstrual cycle.

This summer has been intense. So much going on, so much changing and shifting.  You can read all about it on the blog at my main art website www.shaktimandala.co.uk.

4 weeks ago, I was travelling to meet a Shamanic teacher, ready to start a years 1-1 study.  The work had already begun earlier that year when she popped up on Facebook with a friend request and we got chatting. On the way to my first day workshop, everything changed. I had a car accident. I was hit from behind by an 18 tonne lorry. It sounds terrifying right? the blessing is that I don't have any memory of the accident at all.  One minute I was about to make a turn, the next I was lying on a hospital bed. Apparently I'd got out the car and was breathalysed, so despite physically functioning, my brain chose to lose the visual memories. Thank you brain. I suffered a head injury and damaged my shoulder and spent a few hours having x-rays and scans. This came after 8-10 weeks of solid work to prepare art for a London show.  I'd been slowing down, I'd been resting after pushing it all summer, but obviously not quite enough.

The accident was a shock. An abrupt stop. A forceful impact. I had no choice and I didn't see it coming.  When something like this happens you can't help but be forced to stop and re-evaluate, re-assess and recover.  The work I had been doing over the summer was great, I enjoyed it all, however, it is pretty alien to me to create lots of work to sell. I tend to potter along creating what I feel like, enjoying the odd challenge in getting a commission, and only recently (as money becomes tighter and tighter) has there been any need to try and sell my work. I had put aside the inspirations that had been tugging at my harem's all year, in favour of working on things more appropriate to the show I was attending. Since the accident I've realised that that has actually affected me quiet a lot, and I needed a real change in direction to get me back in touch.

I could ramble on forever about everything that has happened, and I may, in future blogs, but for now my intention is to let you know that I have started a Shamanic Art group on Facebook where I will share art tips, progress pics, inspirations, astrology info and techniques to get others starting to live more creatively. My teacher told me after I explained how useless and helpless I was feeling after the accident, that I should think of myself as having beginners eyes, Experiencing a Shamanic death leaves you disorientated and almost wary of the world around you. It got a bit Matrix there for a moment!

If you would like to know more about the Art Group, please check out my other blog post, and my art page www.facebook.com/chaoticatcreations. All are welcome, male and female.

Once I managed to start drawing again, I drew Ganesh. When I looked at the meanings and symbolism of Ganesh I was blown away! couldn't be more appropriate.

Once I had discovered it had been a huge lorry that hit me, Jagannath had come to mind. Hindu God of the Universe. The word Jagannath is where our word juggernaut comes from. A huge, unstoppable force. He is described as the 'ecstatic form of Krishna', albeit a rather strange one. He is the only God that is made out of wood. All others are made from stone or metal. Jagannath is also significant in that I learnt of him through a half century old photo from my Grandmothers collection of pictures taken in India. She must have visited the temple at some point.

So.. yeah... lots happening.  Hopefully you'll hear from me again soon!

Womb Symbolism - Rams Head

This is the latest meme that's turning up in news feeds on Facebook.
As with all meme's, it's a double edged sword.  On one hand it's a bit funny.. the coincidence, the underlying stereotypical symbolism... the connotations towards PMS/PMDD.  On the other hand, it could be seen as narrow minded, poking fun, creating a negative view of a woman's sacred time.

I find myself agreeing, as the similarities are glaringly obvious, but the use of the Satanic rams head, gives the viewer an immediate response that the womb is some kind of evil.  That in turn, being a woman is like being the devil.  This really encourages a negative view of the womb and menstrual cycle.

If we look at the womb, we see it does in fact look like a ram's head.  No problem there.
The problem comes with the use of the word Satanic and the image of the rams head that's been chosen in the picture above.

If we look at the symbolism of a ram's head, we can see there is good reason for it to be connected to the womb, and historically, it has connections with women.  All of this history and symbolism was in place WAY before the dawn of satanism and the rams head being used to represent Satan.  The pagan origins of Satan and the rams head come from things a lot less sinister.

Ancient civilisations were polytheistic and believed in many gods.  Many worshipped animals as they believed gods and goddesses could shape shift into animal forms.  The Sumerians (4000-2000BC) had huge flocks of sheep.  Sheep gave them food, warmth, work, trade.. if it weren't for the sheep, they would not have been able to sustain themselves.  They worshipped sheep goddesses and gods, who helped protect, watch over and ensure healthy sheep.  Whats really interesting about this, is the Sumerians developed the first ever form of writing, known as cuneiform.  Cuneiform is thought to be the origin of the word cunt... another feminine word that has been tainted and misused over the years.

The Egyptians valued sheep and also worshipped ram's headed gods.  Their most important god, Khnum, was said to have the head of a ram.  It was believed Khnum had created the Nile, and the whole of the universe from a single egg.  Rams heads have also been connected to neolithic shrines in Turkey.

The Greeks and Romans used sheep in their rituals, and often sacrificed these animals as a gift to their gods.  You can read more about sheep in Religion and Mythology here http://www.think-differently-about-sheep.com/Sheep%20_In_Religion_and_mythology.htm

More modern day uses include the Christian lamb of God, and the Satanic ram's head.


I don't really need to go into detail about all the negative views of the rams head as I would say that most have heard of, or seen images like the one above along with, 666, number of the beast, inverted pentacles, heavy metal.  I have to say that many of these views have been created and perpertuated by Christians themselves, and to me, Satanism adopted, or you could say, were given, a symbol to use that symbolises darkness.  If you want to see how fanatical people can become about this symbol, just check out this page (if you can stomach it) http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/False%20Religions/Wicca%20&%20Witchcraft/pentagram.htm


I would have to write a whole other blog about the pentacle, but it's fair to say that it has many many other uses and significances other than the Satanic one. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pentagram

So.. how can we turn the original image above, and it's negative connotations around?

The womb, and it's similarity to the rams head is one of power and reverence.

Far from being something to be scared of, it is a symbol to be proud of.  The 5 pointed star, pentagram, represents the 5 senses, the 5 elements
- earth, air, fire, water and spirit, and a circle around them means unity, wholeness, infinity, the goddess, and protection.  A circle brings them all together creating a pentacle and binds them.  In it's inverted state, as represented by the rams head, we see the shadow side.

The 'one point up' pentagram, represents spirituality over the material, whereas the 'two points up' or inverted pentagram, represents the material and physical world, ruling over the spiritual.  It's the balance between both states that it required while we remain on this planet.

There is no purely good, or purely evil.  Everything in life can be good or bad.  The 'bad' is often not bad at all, but could be seen as a challenge, a test, a part of us that we have to learn from and heal.

So, maybe this symbol in connection to the menstrual cycle, womb and the Goddess, means we should look at the gifts held within the darkness of our cycles.

Other symbolism includes the astrological sign Aries, the ram.  It is the first sign of the zodiac, and is a fire sign.  It represents power, force, virility, masculine energy, protection, fearlessness and youth.  Aries, March 21st - April 20th rules over the springtime.  The coming out of winter into a new cycle.  This would represent pre-ovulation and the first signs of ovulation.  This time of year, around the Spring Equinox, represents new beginnings, a new cycle and life returning to the earth.

Just look at the symbol for Aries... remind you of anything?

In a woman's cycle, this is the time when energy and ideas build, when life becomes more focused on the outer world and less on the inner world.  It is a firey time, full of new growth and and a returning warmth.

With the darker connections, it would suggest a need to release your demons.  This time of growth lasts such a short time, if we get too selfish, too quick tempered, impulsive and impatient (all negative traits of Aries) we will miss the opportunities this time brings us.  If we are to reap the benefits of the Ariean energy, we need to develop the positive traits of Aries, such as being adventurous, energetic, pioneering, courageous, enthusiastic and confident.

An excellent overview of the Aries energy and traits can be found here http://www.cafeastrology.com/zodiacaries.html

by http://www.miguelcoimbra.com

The planet associated with Aries is Mars, the RED planet.  The masculine planet, that represents the God of War.  Again, the shadow side that can try and drag us under during our menstrual cycle can come out with a violent, powerful rush of male energy.  We are in fight mode, even when we may ot need to be.  Controlling this energy can take a bit of practice.

The Greek god Pan, is often referred to as an origin for the rams head too.  Think of Mr Tumnus in The Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe.  In Pagan symbolism, Pan is the god of the wild, shepherds and flocks, nature, of mountain wilds, hunting, music, libido and fertility.  His season is spring and he is associated with the Mother Goddess.

Cernunnos, a Celtic god, is known as the horned god or god of the animals, and is often pictured with a horned or rams headed serpant.  Differing from the rams head, Cernunnos is said to have the antlers of a stag.  Antlers renew themselves unlike horns, so we could see a symbolism there, with the renewal of the womb every month.  There is also significance with the horned snake.  Snakes were always seen as a symbol of fertility, for obvious phallic reasons, and they also represent death, rebirth and regeneration (symbolised in the shedding of the skin).  Yet another very close symbol to the menstrual cycle. http://www.manygods.org.uk/articles/essays/Cernunnos.shtml

During my research for this article, I came across this image.

There are very few mentions of Goddesses or women with horns, yet this french painter Jean-Leon Gerome (1824-1904) pictured a woman with horns.  The painting is called The Bacchante.
A Bacchante is a priestess, or follower of the God Bacchus.  It appears to be quite hard to find out much information about the Bacchante, but this is a good resource http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-bacchante.htm  Bacchus (Roman) is known to be the God of the grape, wine, lust, sex and revelry.  His Greek name is Dionysus.  Dionysus had his own equivalent of Bacchante.  The women who followed Dionysus were called the Maenad.
Both the Bacchante and the Maenad were seen as wild women.  Crazed, mad and ferocious.
Maenad translates into the 'raving ones'.

They were said to " be sent into a state of ecstatic frenzy by Dionysus, through a combination of dancing and drunken intoxication. In this state, they would lose all self-control, begin shouting excitedly, engage in uncontrolled sexual behavior, and ritualistically hunt down and tear to pieces animals — and, at least in myth, sometimes men and children — devouring the raw flesh. During these rites, the maenads would dress in fawn skins and carry a thyrsus, a long stick wrapped in ivy or vine leaves and tipped by a cluster of leaves; they would weave ivy-wreaths around their heads, and often handle or wear snakes" (sourced from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maenad)

With all this it is easy to see where a negative view of a rams head may come from.  I don't know why the artist has connected The Bacchante to the rams head, but in doing so, he automatically draws on the deeper feminine meanings.  In this painting, I believe the woman was pictured with horns to represent her wild side.. as the title also suggests.  She looks quite innocent, her bare shoulder hints at promiscuity.. but look closer and she is also wearing animal fur.  This woman is not all she seems, if the myths of the Bacchante are to be believed.

Maybe Bacchus/Dionysus represents our hormones... driving us mad, intoxicating us to the point of frenzy...  there are definitely clear connections between the implications of the rams head and a woman's wildness, and many more positive views than negative.  What stands out is it is not the woman or womb that is evil or deviant, but the outside influence of Bacchus and his wine.

So when someone comments on how our womb's look just like a satanic rams head, and how funny it is that women tend to go crazy or mad at that time of the month, just point them in this direction. 
It is a cheap shot to poke fun at PMS or the troubles some women go through with their cycles.

Far from being Satanic, it is SHAMANIC.  Look at the ram as a power animal, and learn from it's traits and personality.  There is much to be learned from he ways of the creatures we share the earth with.

I would reply to the image at the top of this post with the image below...

Feel free to share from my Facebook page www.facebook.com/naturalshaman and remember to LIKE if you haven't already!

©Cat Hawkins

Day 4

It's day 4 of my cycle.  I'm at that point where I'm done with resting, yet it's too soon to start anything.  My mind is still foggy, my attention span small.
Daydreaming is good, so is sitting, staring at things.
My mind goes off on different tangents every few seconds.  It like a rapid internet surf.  One random subject leads on to another and another, and before you know it, 4 hours have passed and you can't remember where you started.

I'm frustrated.  I want my energy back.  These last few days of menstruation are like the month of February...  The winter is not quite over, the earth is still waking up.  There are a few shows of life, but everything is sluggish and slow.  THAT is where I am.  I want it to be May, and the warmth of a new summer beginning,  I'm done with winter.  But that's not how it works.  The wheel turns at it's own pace.

I suffer from SAD in the winter months.  I find winter hard.  It's long, grey, cold and depressing.  I need sunlight so bad.  By February I'm hanging on by a thread, longing for sunny days and warmth.  Just like I am today.  The British summer has been terrible.  It will go down in history as the most depressing summer I'm sure of it.

So today, I forced myself to do something.  I had already thought of a million options, but settled for a piece of paper and some art materials.  I've barely seen anyone in days.  My kids are away and I feel like I've wasted the time, but I've had no energy.  Instead of surrendering, I've tried to fight all week, well, more like beat myself up, there wasn't much energy for fighting.  There wasn't much energy for anything.  All I could think was.. I should be doing this.. I should be doing that.. yet nothing got done.  Household business got done, the washing up got done, but anything for me? No.. because I was stuck in this frustrated state of nothingness.  Tired, lethargic, uninterested.

I feel like a caged lion.  Which is interesting as we are in Leo.  It is also the festival of Lughnasadh or Lammas, a fire festival.  The first harvest.  Oh! and did I mention a full moon in Aquarius... an air sign, therefore increased mental activity?  No wonder the past few days have been hard.

I let my hands draw.  I used ink pencils, water, brush, fineliners and a sharpie.  No masterpiece, I thought, just draw, just create... who cares if it's shit, just focus on something for a bit, DO SOMETHING.

This is what came out....

 

It's called, quite simply, Day 4.

To see more of my art, go to https://www.facebook.com/artbychaoticat.

I HATE MY WOMB

As a long term sufferer of PMDD, I spent many years hating my womb, my cycle, my periods, they brought me so much pain and sadness.  Sent me crazy, upset and hurt the people I love and sometimes they succeeded in ruining my life.  I have not been able to work, participate in normal life, normal social activities.  I became reclusive, scared, isolated.

Throughout my teenage years, I discovered Paganism.  After years of learning Tarot cards, reading about the other worlds, and generally being fascinated by all thing esoteric, I realised there was a name, and a path I could follow.  I was already pretty in tune with the seasons, after growing up on the side of river banks and dog walking, but the Wheel of the Year and Paganism, opened my eyes, gave me structure and helped me to understand the different energy held within each season.

This interest developed further in to Witchcraft.  My late teen and early twenties were spent in Covens and working as a solitary witch.  I worshipped the Goddess, a female deity.  This felt more natural to me than anything I had learned with regard to the Bible, Christianity or Catholicism.

During my first pregnancy age 20/21, the PMDD symptoms began to worsen.  I had experienced extreme mood swings from the age of 13, but pregnancy brought me severe depression.  When my daughter was born I fell into Post Natal depression and the mood swings came back worse than ever.  I finally found out a name for my disorder when my daughter was 4 years old.  Pre Menstrual Dysphoric disorder.  Although I suffered from patches of depression over the years, the main symptom was extreme, uncontrollable mood swings, followed by 'normal' days when I couldn't believe how different I had been when under a dysphoric spell.

I hated being a girl, a woman... I hated my cycle, my periods.  I felt the 'curse'.  I had in fact joked when I was younger that I was cursed, or jinxed...  after a suicide attempt aged 28, I visited a Christian Pastors wife,  (my Aunt had begged me to see someone and took me to her) who told me I was being punished for 'dabbling with Witchcraft' and worshipping a Goddess and not THE God.

By that time I'd had my second child. Breastfeeding had held off the severe moods for 8 months, but they returned when I stopped feeding my baby, and gradually became more and more unbearable.

I HATED my womb.  I HATED my body, my cycle....  It made me miserable, ruined my life, made people stay away from me... I was misunderstood.  For others to even begin to understand why I was the way I was, I had to educate them in a disorder that at that time was being dismissed by the medical profession as non-existent... an excuse for women to misbehave... a disorder created by the anti-depressant companies to sell their product to a huge market of women who suffered with PMS.

My life felt wrong... I felt like I didn't belong on this earth.  I was confused.  How can I worship the Goddess yet hate the very thing that made me female.  I felt like I didn't belong anywhere. I felt like a hypocrite.

I slowly walked away from my intensive practice with the Craft.  I began to focus on my kids and surviving as a mother.  Goddess knows I needed to.  The PMDD made being a mother hard.  Hard on me and my children.  They lost their Mum for most of the month.  They walked on eggshells and ducked for cover when a rage took hold.  The guilt was unbearable.

Leaving my spiritual practice behind for a few years did me more harm then good.  I ended up in a bad relationship, which almost destroyed me.  I had nowhere to turn.  I had left my Pagan family.  I had let go of my spiritual connection believing it wasn't helping me.

When I finally managed to escape the bad relationship, my life began to change.  I slowly recovered my spiritual practice, but this time in the form of astrology and shamanism.  Slowly, slowly at first, but over a couple of years, I reconnected with my Goddess, began reading and learning, and re-finding the skills I had left behind.  I still hated my womb.  I was trying different medications in the hope that something would curb the mood swings.  I had met a new man, a good man, someone who I fell madly in love with.  I didn't want to lose him because of my disorder.  I even tried a chemical menopause, which is an injection that stops all your hormones and puts you into a menopausal state.  At this point, I was hoping that it would work and I would then follow that with a hysterectomy, but it all seemed too extreme. After all, there was nothing actually physically 'wrong' with my reproductive organs.  There was nothing wrong with my hormones.  My problem was my body's sensitivities to the changes in hormones.

18 months ago, I began Googling 'Spiritual Menstruation'.  I was desperately looking for a spiritual explanation for my mood swings.  I was looking for what was going on within me on a spiritual level.  To my delight, I found a website that explained my menstrual cycle in a spiritual way.  It explained how it was connected to the seasonal energies, the phases of the moon, the wheel of the year.

LIGHTBULB MOMENT!!  Something switched inside me.  Years of reading and learning flooded back into my mind. EVERYTHING I had learned during my years of studying Paganism fell into place.  I could apply it to my cycle, I could begin to understand my cycle.  I felt like I had a map.  I had a guide.  I felt like I could see where I was going wrong.  The original article I read can be found here http://www.moonsong.com.au/spiritualmenstruation.html

I then found an author, Alexandra Pope, who had written books on the topic of spiritual menstruation and divine feminine energies.  The Woman's Quest is a work book that helps a woman get in touch with her menstrual cycle.  It guides you through, it gives explanations.  It helped me discover where I was going wrong.  This book really 'saved' me.

As I read through, I realised everything that SHOULD be helping me, I saw as an enemy. Everything that didn't fit with society and everyday life, I saw as an inconvenience, I saw it as a burden.  When I began to understand how I could change my perspective and USE these energies instead of fight against them, my life began to change.  I began to heal.  I didn't talk about these idea for about 6 months, as I spent time getting to grips with it all.  To change a lifetime of hatred into love was not a quick process.  I had to see if these idea would work.  I had already come off all the medications, namely anti-depressants, and after 6 months of working with cycle awareness, I realised that the Mirena could I had sat in my womb, was hindering my healing process.  Not to mention the agonising symptoms I had begun to develop with it in my body.  Almost a year ago now, I had it removed.

After suffering a massive 'Mirena crash' due to the progesterone in my body beginning to flow again, I settle down into my own rhythm within 6 months.  This meant I no longer had an IUD controlling my hormones.  It meant I could get in touch with my own cycle with no interference.  This was a scary time, as I had been on medications/birth control for my entire menstruating life.  It was new territory.
I decided to find a counsellor, to help me get through the transition.  Again, I found an excellent counsellor local to me, by searching for a spiritual counsellor.  I needed someone who was going to accept and understand my beliefs.  I have been with her for 10 months now and can see and feel massive changes within me.

So 18 months on from discovering cycle awareness, I now honour my womb.  I now LOVE my womb.  It holds so much power, power that if left untamed can create huge problems in my outer life.  I should know!  I observe and listen.  Every cycle is a new, fresh opportunity to learn.  Understanding the cycle phases now helps me immensely.  I attended a workshop with Alexandra Pope in London, which really helped me get to grips with the ideas behind cycle awareness... you can read about this here  http://naturalshaman.blogspot.co.uk/2011/11/creating-menstrual-health-workshop-with.html

My connection to the Goddess is stronger than ever.   By honouring myself, I honour her.  By loving myself, I can heal.  Being kind to myself and listening to my body's needs means my PMDD has improved ten fold.  I still struggle through some months, I still experience mood swings, but the way I deal with them has changed.  They no longer cause pain to those around me.  Friends and family are now realising that I can only do certain things at certain times of the month.  I am not a failure because I am different, or because I am sensitive to the hormone changes in my body.  If I need to rest, I need to rest.  If I can't meet up with a friend because I'm pre menstrual or bleeding, people accept that.  It takes a lot of explaining, but those that care understand, and those that don't are really friends.

I recently missed a friends wedding due to being due on and feeling low.  I was in retreat mode and just needed quiet time.  I felt awful.  I was gutted to have missed their celebration, but to go would have meant a possible melt down, and I no longer force myself to go through that.  I sent apologies and spent the weekend trying to forgive myself for letting them down.  In reality, they still had a wonderful day, and I managed to keep myself balanced and care for MY needs.

Knowing your body and mind and what you need is key.  Even with books like The Woman's Quest, every woman is an individual.  Ladies with PMDD know only too well that what works for one person, doesn't necessarily work for another.  The only way to heal is to work with your OWN body, your OWN needs, beliefs and values.  Observe and learn from your cycle.  Listen, fulfil your needs.

I will always be 'the odd one out'.  It is unlikely I will ever hold down a 'normal' job, this in turn can make life a struggle, financially and bring issues such as low self esteem, but I will find my way.  Society has very closed minded views on how we should all be.  PMDD, PMS, hormone disorders are still so misunderstood.  Women are expected to be like men.  They aren't.  Our cycles give us a full spectrum of emotions and energies throughout the month, they fluctuate.  One day, women might be allowed to utilise these cycle changes within society and the workplace, they might be respected for the different energies they hold within.  We can all but hope for this change, but I sense it will be a long process.  So long as women put up and shut up, do what they can to fit into a masculine society, we will never be heard.  Never be afraid to be female, and celebrate our differences.

Change your perspective, change your world.  It's challenging, it's exciting, but most of all, it can lead to deep healing to all women, and encourage others to follow suit.

Your womb is not the enemy.  Your ovaries are not the enemy.  YOU are your own worst enemy.  We have the power to create our world.  We have the power to stop making the same bad choices, to stop making the same mistakes.  It is possible to break the destructive cycle of PMDD.  There is no magic cure, but it IS possible to live with it, manage it and be happy.  I am living proof.

To read more of my writing about cycle awareness, follow these links:

http://naturalshaman.blogspot.co.uk/2012/06/magic-of-menstrual-cycle.html
http://naturalshaman.blogspot.co.uk/2011/11/my-healing-journey.html
http://naturalshaman.blogspot.co.uk/p/spiral-goddess.html

I decided to create a visual aid to help me understand my cycle energies.  For me, it really helped me to be able to SEE the cycle.  I created an A3 Poster.  If you are interested in the poster, please visit this link http://naturalshaman.blogspot.co.uk/p/energy-cycle-poster.html

If you are interested in reading my blog about PMDD, please go here http://meetmypmdd.blogspot.co.uk/

The Magic of the Menstrual Cycle

The Magic of the Menstrual Cycle
Female Shamanism and Spirituality.by Cat Stone (Hawkins)
Published in Indie Shaman Magazine Jan 2012 www.indieshaman.co.uk.

Woman is by nature a shaman – Chukchee Proverb

For many years it has been believed that shamans were male.  Along with many other faiths, it has been the male that takes on the more 'powerful' role.  An uprising in Goddess faiths over the past 50 years has been trying to re-claim the feminine as an equal and valid energy.
I was always drawn to the Goddess faiths.  Paganism and witchcraft in particular.  The identification with The Goddess was for me, more natural than a male deity.  In witchcraft, a woman can strive to become a High Priestess, equal to that of the male High Priest, or as a hedge-witch, on a more solitary path, she is encouraged to develop her own strength and power, and to really learn about herself and how to tune into the natural energies around us. 

Fifty years ago, in the Czech Republic, ancient remains were found (c 30,000 bc) in the Pavlov hills.  Along with the skeleton, the archaeologists found a spear head, placed near the head of the body, traces of red ochre and a fox skeleton, held in the hand of the human remains.  The body had been buried beneath two mammoth shoulder blades, pitched together to form a roof.  It was established this was a shaman grave.  The bones were then analysed and to everybody's surprise, it was revealed to be a woman.  This began to question the long held belief that all shamans were male.

A later excavation of the site, uncovered a clay oven, full of thousands of tiny hands, feet and body parts.  Broken remnants of animal figurines were also found.  This shaman woman was an artisan, creating talismans and trinkets rather than household items.  These were the oldest forms of ceramic creations the archaeologists had ever found, and probably one of the first ever kilns.

So, the oldest shaman burial site ever found, contained the remains of a female shaman.

There are many myths surrounding women in ancient societies.  One of the biggest and most degrading is that when the tribal women menstruated, they were banished to a 'Moon Lodge' and were not allowed back to until bleeding had finished.  The idea that bleeding was dirty and needed to be kept away from the rest of the group has long been the reasoning for this. 
This is far from the reality.

Ancient societies saw the power in a menstruating woman.  Women were far more in tune with their bodies and surroundings.  They would feel the changes inside them, they would use these energies  and a woman's cycle was to be honoured.  When women left their men and children behind to menstruate with others in a safe and secluded space, they left because their energies were no longer about the outside 'normal' world.  Cooking, cleaning, and general activities were put on hold, and the women went to be alone, or to congregate together with other women during their bleed.  What mattered during this time was the inside world.  Messages, signals, voices would come to these women during their menstruation.  They would vision, journey, sleep and dream.  They would spend time contemplating and unravelling the messages.

The access to other realms becomes easier at this time.  Senses are heightened.  Sensitivity to sound, smell and light would allow a woman to become more aware.  The natural tendency to withdraw at this time of the month, allows a woman to become quiet, in tune and open to listen and feel.

Menstruation could sometimes lead to great insights for the rest of the community.  Answers were found and decisions were made based on the women's insights during menstruation.  Women were honoured and respected.  Their bodies naturally went through a cycle of death and re-birth every month in sync with the Moon, they obtained an altered state every month, without even trying.  Women bled, but did not die.  Women could provide sacrificial blood, without anything having to lose life.  Blood, life force, ancestral power... Women held it all within their cycles.

Barbara Walker, in her book Women's Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets says:

Most words for menstruation also meant such things as incomprehensible, supernatural, sacred, spirit, deity. Like the Latin sacer, old Arabian words for "pure" and "impure" both applied to menstrual blood and to that only. The Maoris stated explicitly that human souls are made of menstrual blood, which when retained in the womb "assumes human form and grows into a man". Africans said menstrual blood is "congealed to fashion a man". Aristotle said the same: human life is made of a "coagulum" of menstrual blood. Pliny called menstrual blood "the material substance of generation," capable of forming "a curd, which afterwards in process of time quickenth and groweth to the form of a body". This primitive notion of the prenatal function of menstrual blood was still taught in European medical schools up to the 18th century.

In modern society, women are so disconnected from their menstrual cycles.  Our period has become a taboo subject, something to remain private and unspoken, or make us feel embarrassed and ashamed.  Modern women try their hardest to ignore this natural rhythm, cursing their bleed and hating their cycle.  The changes in hormones within our body can have dramatic effects on our internal energy, which in turn, needs changes to be made on the outside to compensate.

To be able to use the energies of the menstrual cycle effectively, you first need to understand the 4 main phases of the cycle.  In pagan terms, visualise a wheel of the year and the 4 quarter points, Winter Solstice, Spring Equinox, Summer Solstice and Autumn Equinox.  In general terms, think of the seasons of the year.  The menstrual cycle is a cycle of creativity, and so the following principles can be applied to any creative venture.  Why is the menstrual cycle a cycle of creativity?  Because it's sole purpose is to create, to manifest.  From spark, to flame, to fire, to ashes, to spark again... it is a symbolic creative process that can be applied to many aspects of life.

The cycle comes in 4 phases:
Menstruation (days 1-7)  - Winter – Dark/New Moon - Crone
Pre-Ovulation (days 7-14)  - Spring – Waxing Moon - Maiden
Ovulation (days 14-21)  - Summer - Full Moon - Mother
Pre-Menstruation (days 21-28)   - Autumn – Waning Moon – Mother/Crone

This is based on a 28 day cycle, which is the average.  However, every cycle varies in length, so these 'brackets' may be slightly different for each woman.  The one constant is that you will always ovulate 14 days before menstruation.

By applying what we know of the seasons, we can look at the menstrual cycle in a whole different way.

The Spring (Pre-Ovulation) is a time of new growth.  It is a time of innocence and playfulness.  Light and warmth are coming back to a dark earth.  Buds are opening, the daylight is growing.  The Spring Equinox bring us promise and animals pro-creating.  The Earth is waking up.  Everything is fertile and the energy is to nurture new growth, feed it and begin to wake up from the winter's sleep.  We stretch and move again.  Test the water.  It is in this phase of the menstrual cycle we will find the energy to begin projects, to develop ideas and plan ahead.

The Summer (Ovulation) is a time to manifest.  The body is open and ready to create.  It is highly fertile and flirty.  The Sun has returned to the earth, and it's time to enjoy the sunny days.  Get out and socialise, work on projects, finish projects...  Like the Summer Solstice, we rejoice and worship the Sun.  This is the time in our cycle we need to be connecting to people and relaxing in our outside world.  It can also be a time of vulnerability, and it is important that we keep ourselves grounded.  It is all to make risky decisions or get carried away in the moment at this time.

The Autumn (Pre-Menstruation) is a time of harvest and withdrawal.  This energy can be really tough for some women.  During this phase, our focus begins to turn inwards in preparation for menstruation.  We can feel disconnected from life and our mind can become negative and critical.  We harvest and complete projects and tasks, ready to withdraw from the outside world all together, like the Autumn Equinox, we remember the past.  If the pressure is on to remain in the outside world, we can become even more confused and irritable.  This phase slows us down and brings our attention back to our own needs.  It is during this phase that women can feel out of control, and suffer from PMS or PMDD.

The Winter (Menstruation) brings our focus deep within ourselves.  We are no longer interested in the outside world.  Our mind may be busy with thoughts from the past, negative experiences or trauma.  Winter solstice is the darkest point in our year, and a time to study and learn, to keep safe and warm.  Women may experience difficult physical symptoms during this phase.  Cramps, tiredness and irritability are all signs that you need to relax into the darkness and look after yourself.  It is essential that you honour this part of the cycle.  You are in the most sacred time of the month.  Pay attention to your dreams and visions.  Sleep lots.  When we look after ourselves during our cycle, especially during this winter phase, we have a better chance of a great Spring and Summer.

When you realise the process of menstruation is so deeply connected to our spiritual energies, it opens up brand new pathways for healing and living life in sync with nature.  Unfortunately, many women still opt for the Pill or other hormonal treatments to 'cure' the mood swings, to stop the pain, or regulate the cycle.  This disconnects us from our natural healing and cycle.  It stops us from accessing our inner well of power.

Women are trying to be good wives, mothers, lovers, friends and employees, but we are also in a constant cycle.  Our energy ebbs and flows, it is powerful and won't be denied or ignored  It is where it draws our attention that is critical.  If our natural energy wants to retreat during pre-menstruation, but we ignore that and force ourselves to work against that, we will almost certainly end up more stressed.  Life will feel difficult, and you will feel more tired and angry.  I believe women with PMS and the more extreme form PMDD are suffering from disconnection from their cycles.  They are working against the body's natural rhythm and the knock on effects can be devastating.

It is easy to begin working with the cycle.  Observe, listen and feel the energies.  If you need more information, I would recommend reading The Women's Quest Workbook by Alexandra Pope www.womensquest.org.  It was this book that has really helped me to realise how to work with my cycle in a spiritual way, and it kick started my own healing and understanding.
I have recently attended a Creating Menstrual Health workshop with Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer in London.  It was so reassuring to hear other women's stories and experiences with their cycles.  It has opened me up further to the world of possibilities that lie in working with the menstrual cycle and I get to practice a full cycle every month!  I would highly recommend the workshop if you want to go deeper into your own cycle.  You can read more about my day at the workshop here, http://naturalshaman.blogspot.co.uk/2011/11/creating-menstrual-health-workshop-with.html

There are also many groups popping up online and all around the globe.  In America, many women are starting up Red Tent Temple's.  A space for women to gather and talk and learn from each other.  Some good places to start are:

http://alisastarkweather.com/
http://awakeningwomen.com/

or just simple Google Red Tent Temple and your country/city to see what's going on where you live.

The cycle does not stop during and after menopause.  Although the body may stop a physical cycle, the spiritual aspect continues,  often syncing with the moon cycle, and in this Crone phase of life, the energies are even more powerful and deep.

Women do not learn magic, women are magic.  It is nature, it is our birthright, and we should be forever thankful for the opportunities our menstrual cycles bring us.  Women are Natural Shamans, they just need to understand and use the power they hold within.

About Cat Stone

I am an artist living in the beautiful Hampshire countryside.  I have two wonderful children (both girls) and a dog called Ember.  Over the past 15 years I have been involved in witchcraft, paganism, tarot, healing, astrology,mandalas, sacred geometry, aromatherapy, colour therapy and crystals.  I am a qualified aromatherapist and have studied the tarot.  My journey has always been made difficult as I have had Pre Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder since I began my periods age 13.  After years of suffering from this severe mood disorder and every medication making the problem worse, I have decided to walk my own path to healing.  I am medication and birth control free for the first time ever and have never felt better in my life.  If I can turn my life around by making friends with my cycle and learn from it, love it rather than hate it, then anyone can!

I have created a unique poster to illustrate the energy of the menstrual cycle, and am hoping to go further with my studies in working with and understanding menstruation.  I believe that women need to re-claim and re-connect with their cycle and I hope my poster will help to plant the seeds...

The A3 poster and further information is available from http://naturalshaman.blogspot.co.uk/p/energy-cycle-poster.html

© Cat Stone 2012


Facts about Menstruation:

• Scholars suggest that pre-modern men and women learned to think numerically by recognizing relationships between groups of numbers that were also units of time measured through menstrual rites.
• Menstruation may have led to humanity’s sense of time as most early lunar calendars were based on the length of a women’s menstrual cycle.
• The term “ritual” is derived from the Sanskrit word R’tu, which means “menstrual.” This etymology suggests that ritual in a general sense and menstrual acts have a common origin.
• At one point in history, women who complained of menstrual cramps (dysmenorrhea) were sent to psychiatrists because menstrual cramps were seen as a rejection of one’s femininity.
• Menstruating blood was often seen as sacred. Sacred means both “set apart” and “cursed.
• The word taboo comes from the Polyneisain tapua, meaning both “sacred” and “menstruation
• Scholars suggest that as matriarchy gave way to patriarchy, menstrual blood taboos were used by men to control women and, consequently, menstrual blood was interpreted away from something powerful to a “disgusting” waste product that had no role in the reproductive process.

(sourced from http://facts.randomhistory.com/random-facts-about-menstruation.html)

Wear RED at New Moon

Today is a New Moon in Aquarius.

The fresh new feeling Aquarius brings is that of 'YES WE CAN!!'  We can change, we can flow, we can achieve the unachievable!
Be brave and allow the flowing energy to carry your thoughts to exciting places.

Use the flow to rid yourself of things that no longer support you.  Look at the coming year and shed the weight that is holding you back, drop it into the river and watch it be carried away.  Look upstream and see what's coming.  Out with the old and in with the new!

Find a water source.  Preferably a flowing river, or the Sea.  If there is no way to reach an outside water source there are ways you can do this indoors...

Write on a small piece of paper or pieces of paper (or if you prefer, on the back of small leaves), things that you wish to rid from your life.  Maybe it's your lack of confidence, maybe it's body weight, maybe it's a person or situation you are not happy with.  Take your notes to a water source and re-read them.  Visualise the things you wish to see flow out of your life.  Be mindful, be aware....  Drop the notes into the river/sea/water source and watch them leave you.  Sit for a while and say goodbye.  Then turn your thoughts to the new.  The things you wish to bring into your life.  Meditate for a while on these things.  Let your mind go, let it travel, let it dream of how life will be in six months time.  Give thanks for being heard by the Universe, and go about your day, keeping in mind the new things, and forgetting about the old.

If you cannot leave the house, you can do this exercise by writing on pieces of tissue (toilet roll) and flushing them down the toilet!

Be sure to make a note, write down, or create a vision board for the things you wish to create and bring into your life.  Make a contract with yourself and the Universe.  It is harder to break a written contract, even if that is with yourself.

WEAR RED!!

Join up with the Red Day group on Facebook www.facebook.com/RedDayWomen and join other women who are wearing red at every New Moon.  This helps us re-connect at every new cycle with our own female cycles, and is a good way to mark the New Moon energies.  Maybe you don't own any red clothes, or maybe it's not your colour!  If that's the case, paint your toenails red, or stick on that slinky red underwear you normally save for 'special' occasions.  This IS a special occasion!!  Wear red at New Moon and re-charge yourself for the coming lunar month with the energy red brings.

With love ♥

Full Moon rising.

It's only a couple of days before we see another powerful Full Moon.
It's also a Lunar Eclipse, which makes for a very potent time.

Gemini Moon, Lunar Eclipse, December 10th 2011, 2.36PM.  Gemini/Saggitarius

The Mercury retrograde has caused me a few headaches, that and entering into my 'autumn', but I have managed to keep some momentum and I can feel the energies building for this Full Moon.
I have a Gemini ascendant, so am feeling quite wired.  I usually bleed a few days after Full Moon.  It's like, with the waxing energies and the culmination in the Full Moon, I find the energy to give work and life that final push, before descending into my 'winter' time with the waning moon.  This month, I really am planning on taking it easy when I hit that phase.

I'm planning on taking rest from all the frantic design work and poster prep I have been drowning in, and just... have.... some fun!  It's been a LONG time since I felt I could enjoy Yule, but this year is just SO different.  I am not scared!

A lot of things happened before mercury went retrograde, and the pause, although frustrating at times, has been a bonus.  I have had time to get things right.  To make sure, to check and re-check.

With eclipses bringing all manner of changes, opportunities, and shake-up's, and Mercury goes direct again on the 13th.. so as soon as we are done with the Full Moon and lunar eclipse, hopefully everything will start moving forward, and I have a hunch, this will be at speed.   


This is the LAST Total Lunar Eclipse we will experience for the next 3 years, so I imagine it will be, like me, giving everything a final push to get us moving into and through 2012.

I am hoping to work with these energies while I bleed....  Dive into the unknown and see what comes back with me.

2012 is a whole new year.. and it's just around the corner!

Oh yeah... and the poster?  It's now available for PRE-ORDER.  Just click the advert on the right!

The Moon is set to turn blood red during this eclipse.... very apt!