All Planets in Direct Motion

Here's some interesting astrology for you. From December 25th's Full Moon in Cancer GMT 11:11am, yes, you saw that correctly, 11:11) we have All Planets in Direct Motion for 11 days, till the 5th January 2016. (yes, 11 days)

Previously, astrologers would simply mark a chart 'zero retrogrades', however an astrologer, Stephanie Forest, recently saw it in a different way. Rather than zero retrogrades, what she saw was All Planets in Direct Motion. ALL planets moving in sync and harmony together and in the same direction. This only happens at seemingly random times and for differing lengths of time. 

What are these windows of time for? 

How amazing is the ability to look with new eyes, interpret something in a different way and open up a new world of ideas?

WHAT TO DO WITH ALL PLANETS DIRECT MOTION™
1. We can consider acceleration, movement and velocity as intrinsic to APDM timings, and observe or apply core potential.
2. We can open to discovery, information and/or messages during APDM.
3. We can meditate and/or dance together, or individually, apply timing and conscious focus to conceive new ideas, organic cures, set the intention, visioning.
4. We can BLOG our thoughts, observations and feelings before, during and after APDM cycles, checking for similar themes.
5. We can take note of apparent APDM themes including faith, confidence, determination.
6. It takes a Village to unpack APDM. our combined participation makes a difference. in fact APDM is all about global participation during the approaching Aquarian Age.
7. We can co-create an enlightening experience through a collective vision for the future of humanity.

Read more - http://allplanetsdirect.com/

As I prepare to bleed.

As I prepare to bleed I am taken over by creative energy.  I want to sink into a world of colour and shape.  No noise, no demands, just colour and shape.

Last weekend I delved into a project to revamp (upcycle) an old garden bench.  I didn't want to talk.  I didn't want to be bothered.  I just wanted to sit alone and paint.  Sit alone and paint I did, although nothing stops the children talking!

This is the result.  The result of my autumn, my pre menstrual phase.  Allowing myself the space and time, focusing my mind, sinking into creation...

Dhumavati

It was cycle day 25.

I was standing in the garden. Sun was shining and it actually felt like spring! While chatting to to my mother and sister in law, I see a huge, and I mean HUGE black crow, fly straight into the window of the house out the back. Everyone turned round to see what had made the loud noise, and we all watched as the crow that had landed on the porch of the house, launched itself at the window to the right. Another almighty knock and off it flew... We were all amazed to see it fly off unharmed, as the noise was beak cracking.

Straight away a memory came to the fore. A few days ago... I saw a crow do the same thing to the same house... Hmm... when had I been out in the garden (there haven't been many days warm enough). Last Monday (Cycle day 20). George was finishing off the shed roof. It was sunny. I was out the back and witnessed the same thing, although this one hadn't come back for seconds, just crashed into the window and flew off behind the house..

Then, another recent memory pop's into my mind. Last weekend Fae had been singing 'Sing a song of sixpence'. She'd found an old childhood book of mine and found this one ditty very amusing, puzzling and worthy of much chatter. She kept showing me the picture... black birds flying around a pie.

Crows and black birds had been in my mind for a while, I have been planning to draw or paint a crow or crows, and it's not the first time. A couple of years or so ago I was called by the crow. I think now and then our paths cross, only I hadn't really connected before.

After researching the common meanings of the crow, I googled Hindu Crow (I have been looking a lot at Hindu Deities after hearing Durga's call recently) and up came Dhumavati.

Dhumavati is the hag, the crone, the old, dark goddess. Her name means 'The Smoky One'. 

She is the void, the dissolved form of consciousness. Her creature is the crow, a carrion eater and symbol of death and decay. Some stories say she has crow like features. She is often pictured on a horseless carriage with a winnowing basket (a tool used for sorting the wheat from the chaff), a spear or sword, a broom and a kapala (a bowl made from a human skull). She can be found in 'the wounds of the world'... cemeteries, cremation grounds, smoky fires, deserts, ruined houses and wild dangerous places. 

She is often named as the seventh Mahavidya. The Mahavidyas (Great Wisdoms) are a group of the ten aspects of the Divine Mother. The 10 Mahavidyas are Wisdom Goddesses, who represent a spectrum of feminine divinity, from horrific goddesses at one end, to the gentle at the other.

She is now a widow, but was once Shiva's first consort Sati. Sati's hunger was insatiable, she demanded food constantly and could never be satisfied. Shiva refused her demands, so she announced she would eat him instead. After consuming her husband, Shiva, he demanded her to disgorge him, which she did with reluctance. He then cursed her and condemned her to a lifetime of widowhood. On hearing this smoke emanated from her, clouding her beauty. He named her Dhumavati. She was from that moment on, alone, banished to the cemetary where she stole clothes from the dead.

She obscures and reveals. She reveals those things that are imperfect and disappointing. She is defeat, loss, destruction and loneliness. She is cruel, ugly and disheveled. She is the embodiment of lust and ignorance. Always hungry and thirsty, she yearns for food and drink. She likes to create conflict, arguments and invokes fear. Dhumavati is always in a sad state and represents unsatisfied desires. She makes herself a widow by swallowing her husband Shiva in an act of power, independence and self assertion.

She teaches us that life is a struggle. You learn from the negative experiences in life and through them, you develop wisdom. She points out the negative, so you can learn from it. The bowl of fire she holds burns ignorance and also symbolises that all things are eventually destroyed. She is often pictured making a boon conferring gesture (Varada mudra) or knowledge giving gesture (Cinmudra). These hand postures open up a more positive aspect to this goddess. A boon is something to be thankful for, a blessing. She represents the wisdom that can be found through experience, the knowledge that hides in the smoke.

Dhumavati asks us to look beyond small ambitions. She may seem like a dark and negative inauspicious Goddess, but she offers special powers and knowledge. She instills a desire to be alone, to go within, to delve into ourselves. Without a consort she is free to follow her spiritual path, free of family responsibilities.

"Dhumavati symbolically portrays the disappointments, frustrations, humiliation, defeat, loss, sorrow and loneliness that a woman endures. She is the knowledge that comes through hard experiences, after the youthful desires and fantasies are put behind. Dhumavati thus represents a stage of woman’s life that is beyond worldly desires, beyond the conventional taboos of what is polluting or inauspicious. She desires to be free and at the same time she likes to be useful to the family and to the society." http://vedicgoddess.weebly.com/3/post/2012/08/devi-dhumavati.html

The crow symbol also has a positive side. They are symbolic of hearing ‘unheard’ sounds. Crows can hear very low sound frequencies, inaudible to humans. They also show remarkable intelligence. In Hindu belief, crows are considered ancestors as seen during sraddha practice of offering food or panda. Crows ask us to listen carefully to your instincts, feelings and dreams.

She is associated it the waning and dark moon. Goddess Dhumavati is a good teacher. By obscuring or covering all that is known, Dhumavati reveals the depth of the unknown. Dhumavati obscures what is evident in order to reveal the hidden and the profound. Honor her by lighting incense or creating a smoky fire. Offer her flowers, wine, food and anything else indulgent. Worship her alone. She is for you and you alone. Dhumavati is also known as Alakshmi, the anti-lakshmi. Lakshmi is the Goddess of family, hearth and home. Dhumavarti is the opposite. Alone, away from the home. She looks after unmarried people, the single, widowed, the poor, beggars and the diseased.

The day after the crow/window incident, my attention was drawn to a local church. It is no longer used as a church, but is now part of the Church Heritage Trust. It is one of my favourite places, and usually quiet and 'abandoned'. I felt I just HAD to go there. I took some incense with me to light in honour of Dhumavati. A walk in the grave yard led me to two black feathers. I went inside the church and placed the feathers on the altar and lit the incense. I sat for a while, alone in the church. The stained glass was memerising, and the incense broke up the cold musty church smell. I left just as a local turned up to the church. Perfect timing! As I drove home, one word popped into my head. Acknowlegement. I hadn't really known why I'd felt compelled to go the church, but on the way back I understood. That simple act had been a show of acknowledgement. She's made me aware of her presence, so I made her aware I had listened and that she existed to me.

I began drawing on Day 2.  Just after the New Moon. In full bleed, with full connection to the energy. Crow images have filled my news feed, and I was having constant thoughts about the smoky Goddess. Images, ideas and visions flowing through my mind. The image had been nagging me for days, it's call getting louder and louder till I could ignore it no more. The image was finished at the same time as I stopped bleeding. When I create a shamanic piece of work, something I am called to create, it flows... it draws itself in a way. I am just a channel.

The more I read about Dhumavati, the more I could relate her to menstruation. She IS the energy many fear, the energy women with PMDD battle with. She is The Critic, The Bitch, The Unsatisfied. The bleeding phase is attributed to the crone, but where else do we get a description of the crone energy in so much detail as with the legend of Dhumavati? When our pre menstrual tempers fly and we act like a spoilt children, we are showing that insatiable desire, we are demanding it our way. Many times in this phase I have broken off relationships and wanted to walk away from my family... and yes, the desire to be alone with my thoughts, with myself, was powering that. I wanted to be the widow, and I would create the situation so I could end up alone. I would toy with thoughts of death during this time. My worst suicidal moments have been in the days before my period was due. Do I break up with my man and become alone, a widow? Do I walk out on my kids and create that loneliness and sadness? Do I end it all now, be transformed in my death? the ultimate tragic story?

I look back and I can see the Dhumavati moments. I can recall how I felt. I have felt how Dhumavati feels. I know that desire, that frustration when things don't work out the way you want them, the fear, the deep sadness. What I missed before was the boons, the blessings, the things I could have been learning if only I had understood. When the anger hits, the disappointment, the seemingly random and uncalled for actions and words wanting to destroy everything around you, you are feeling Dhumavati energy. What is REALLY behind the anger? What is REALLY the desire that isn't being fulfilled? Look at your life. What are you denying yourself? What are you hungry for? I think those crazy moments before a bleed are down to those things deep within that want to be fulfilled, lived out, worked on and learned from. Sort the wheat from the chaff, sweep the room, get rid of the rubbish in your life that you don't need... those things that make life harder. Look within. It may be difficult to figure out what it is you want from life, that is the nature of smoke and darkness, but keep looking, it will come, it will become clear. Learn from The Smoky One. Don't allow her energy to rule you, to create quarrels and situations where you end up the widow (unless, that is what you want!) On the other hand, her energy can really help with ridding things from your life you don't need anymore. In some relationships, the widow option is the better one, for the sake of your sanity and future!

In the winter phase, menstruation, we are cleansing. The unfertilised egg is being cleansed from the body ready for a new cycle. The body and mind feels a sadness for the potential that didn't become a life, maybe we also sense the frustration of a perfectly good egg going to waste... we begin to analyse the rest of our life. Where am I going? What good am I? I've wasted my life, I should be alone, I am a failure... Even in her condemnation, Dhumavati found the positive. She turned to the people that needed help, that are alone, that are outcast from society. She helps us to find the wisdom we all have inside, while at the same time encouraging us to look at whether we are fulfilling our own potential. She helps us to see what is holding us back, and what is good and bad for us in our lives.

So, with thanks to Dhumavati...

Dhum Dhum Dhumavati Svaha - Dhumavati's mantra is said to create a protective smoke shield that protects you from negativity and death. It helps remove illusions and allows you to see the unseen. Meditate on the void, the emptiness, the darkness. It enables us to 'read between the lines', to see past our initial judgements and prejudices. Don't look at the subject, look around the subject.

I never expected that seeing a crow hit a window would take me on such a journey, but it did... and I for one, am very grateful.

Namaste

Christmas crafts!

I've been getting crafty, and am currently taking commissions for hand made light catchers.

My light catchers are hand made from recycled glass jewellery, lamp work beads, vintage crystal beads, gemstone beads, hand cut mirrors and sparkly prism drops. 

Prices range from £10 to £15 plus p&p.  I mainly make these to order, however now and then you may find some ready made on my page.

You can order by contacting me on through my Facebook page ♥

These are my most recent creations...

I have also been making toadstools for the Christmas tree!  I made a set of these a few years ago now, and every year, they take pride of place.  This year, I have made some sets to sell, as so many people said how much they liked them!  Again, if you would like some, please contact me on my Facebook page as soon as possible.  I make these in small batches, so they sell out quickly!  I will make to order, so please get in touch.

13 Toadstools hand made by Cat Hawkins.  A fairy ring for your tree! £10+p&p

Day 4

It's day 4 of my cycle.  I'm at that point where I'm done with resting, yet it's too soon to start anything.  My mind is still foggy, my attention span small.
Daydreaming is good, so is sitting, staring at things.
My mind goes off on different tangents every few seconds.  It like a rapid internet surf.  One random subject leads on to another and another, and before you know it, 4 hours have passed and you can't remember where you started.

I'm frustrated.  I want my energy back.  These last few days of menstruation are like the month of February...  The winter is not quite over, the earth is still waking up.  There are a few shows of life, but everything is sluggish and slow.  THAT is where I am.  I want it to be May, and the warmth of a new summer beginning,  I'm done with winter.  But that's not how it works.  The wheel turns at it's own pace.

I suffer from SAD in the winter months.  I find winter hard.  It's long, grey, cold and depressing.  I need sunlight so bad.  By February I'm hanging on by a thread, longing for sunny days and warmth.  Just like I am today.  The British summer has been terrible.  It will go down in history as the most depressing summer I'm sure of it.

So today, I forced myself to do something.  I had already thought of a million options, but settled for a piece of paper and some art materials.  I've barely seen anyone in days.  My kids are away and I feel like I've wasted the time, but I've had no energy.  Instead of surrendering, I've tried to fight all week, well, more like beat myself up, there wasn't much energy for fighting.  There wasn't much energy for anything.  All I could think was.. I should be doing this.. I should be doing that.. yet nothing got done.  Household business got done, the washing up got done, but anything for me? No.. because I was stuck in this frustrated state of nothingness.  Tired, lethargic, uninterested.

I feel like a caged lion.  Which is interesting as we are in Leo.  It is also the festival of Lughnasadh or Lammas, a fire festival.  The first harvest.  Oh! and did I mention a full moon in Aquarius... an air sign, therefore increased mental activity?  No wonder the past few days have been hard.

I let my hands draw.  I used ink pencils, water, brush, fineliners and a sharpie.  No masterpiece, I thought, just draw, just create... who cares if it's shit, just focus on something for a bit, DO SOMETHING.

This is what came out....

 

It's called, quite simply, Day 4.

To see more of my art, go to https://www.facebook.com/artbychaoticat.

I HATE MY WOMB

As a long term sufferer of PMDD, I spent many years hating my womb, my cycle, my periods, they brought me so much pain and sadness.  Sent me crazy, upset and hurt the people I love and sometimes they succeeded in ruining my life.  I have not been able to work, participate in normal life, normal social activities.  I became reclusive, scared, isolated.

Throughout my teenage years, I discovered Paganism.  After years of learning Tarot cards, reading about the other worlds, and generally being fascinated by all thing esoteric, I realised there was a name, and a path I could follow.  I was already pretty in tune with the seasons, after growing up on the side of river banks and dog walking, but the Wheel of the Year and Paganism, opened my eyes, gave me structure and helped me to understand the different energy held within each season.

This interest developed further in to Witchcraft.  My late teen and early twenties were spent in Covens and working as a solitary witch.  I worshipped the Goddess, a female deity.  This felt more natural to me than anything I had learned with regard to the Bible, Christianity or Catholicism.

During my first pregnancy age 20/21, the PMDD symptoms began to worsen.  I had experienced extreme mood swings from the age of 13, but pregnancy brought me severe depression.  When my daughter was born I fell into Post Natal depression and the mood swings came back worse than ever.  I finally found out a name for my disorder when my daughter was 4 years old.  Pre Menstrual Dysphoric disorder.  Although I suffered from patches of depression over the years, the main symptom was extreme, uncontrollable mood swings, followed by 'normal' days when I couldn't believe how different I had been when under a dysphoric spell.

I hated being a girl, a woman... I hated my cycle, my periods.  I felt the 'curse'.  I had in fact joked when I was younger that I was cursed, or jinxed...  after a suicide attempt aged 28, I visited a Christian Pastors wife,  (my Aunt had begged me to see someone and took me to her) who told me I was being punished for 'dabbling with Witchcraft' and worshipping a Goddess and not THE God.

By that time I'd had my second child. Breastfeeding had held off the severe moods for 8 months, but they returned when I stopped feeding my baby, and gradually became more and more unbearable.

I HATED my womb.  I HATED my body, my cycle....  It made me miserable, ruined my life, made people stay away from me... I was misunderstood.  For others to even begin to understand why I was the way I was, I had to educate them in a disorder that at that time was being dismissed by the medical profession as non-existent... an excuse for women to misbehave... a disorder created by the anti-depressant companies to sell their product to a huge market of women who suffered with PMS.

My life felt wrong... I felt like I didn't belong on this earth.  I was confused.  How can I worship the Goddess yet hate the very thing that made me female.  I felt like I didn't belong anywhere. I felt like a hypocrite.

I slowly walked away from my intensive practice with the Craft.  I began to focus on my kids and surviving as a mother.  Goddess knows I needed to.  The PMDD made being a mother hard.  Hard on me and my children.  They lost their Mum for most of the month.  They walked on eggshells and ducked for cover when a rage took hold.  The guilt was unbearable.

Leaving my spiritual practice behind for a few years did me more harm then good.  I ended up in a bad relationship, which almost destroyed me.  I had nowhere to turn.  I had left my Pagan family.  I had let go of my spiritual connection believing it wasn't helping me.

When I finally managed to escape the bad relationship, my life began to change.  I slowly recovered my spiritual practice, but this time in the form of astrology and shamanism.  Slowly, slowly at first, but over a couple of years, I reconnected with my Goddess, began reading and learning, and re-finding the skills I had left behind.  I still hated my womb.  I was trying different medications in the hope that something would curb the mood swings.  I had met a new man, a good man, someone who I fell madly in love with.  I didn't want to lose him because of my disorder.  I even tried a chemical menopause, which is an injection that stops all your hormones and puts you into a menopausal state.  At this point, I was hoping that it would work and I would then follow that with a hysterectomy, but it all seemed too extreme. After all, there was nothing actually physically 'wrong' with my reproductive organs.  There was nothing wrong with my hormones.  My problem was my body's sensitivities to the changes in hormones.

18 months ago, I began Googling 'Spiritual Menstruation'.  I was desperately looking for a spiritual explanation for my mood swings.  I was looking for what was going on within me on a spiritual level.  To my delight, I found a website that explained my menstrual cycle in a spiritual way.  It explained how it was connected to the seasonal energies, the phases of the moon, the wheel of the year.

LIGHTBULB MOMENT!!  Something switched inside me.  Years of reading and learning flooded back into my mind. EVERYTHING I had learned during my years of studying Paganism fell into place.  I could apply it to my cycle, I could begin to understand my cycle.  I felt like I had a map.  I had a guide.  I felt like I could see where I was going wrong.  The original article I read can be found here http://www.moonsong.com.au/spiritualmenstruation.html

I then found an author, Alexandra Pope, who had written books on the topic of spiritual menstruation and divine feminine energies.  The Woman's Quest is a work book that helps a woman get in touch with her menstrual cycle.  It guides you through, it gives explanations.  It helped me discover where I was going wrong.  This book really 'saved' me.

As I read through, I realised everything that SHOULD be helping me, I saw as an enemy. Everything that didn't fit with society and everyday life, I saw as an inconvenience, I saw it as a burden.  When I began to understand how I could change my perspective and USE these energies instead of fight against them, my life began to change.  I began to heal.  I didn't talk about these idea for about 6 months, as I spent time getting to grips with it all.  To change a lifetime of hatred into love was not a quick process.  I had to see if these idea would work.  I had already come off all the medications, namely anti-depressants, and after 6 months of working with cycle awareness, I realised that the Mirena could I had sat in my womb, was hindering my healing process.  Not to mention the agonising symptoms I had begun to develop with it in my body.  Almost a year ago now, I had it removed.

After suffering a massive 'Mirena crash' due to the progesterone in my body beginning to flow again, I settle down into my own rhythm within 6 months.  This meant I no longer had an IUD controlling my hormones.  It meant I could get in touch with my own cycle with no interference.  This was a scary time, as I had been on medications/birth control for my entire menstruating life.  It was new territory.
I decided to find a counsellor, to help me get through the transition.  Again, I found an excellent counsellor local to me, by searching for a spiritual counsellor.  I needed someone who was going to accept and understand my beliefs.  I have been with her for 10 months now and can see and feel massive changes within me.

So 18 months on from discovering cycle awareness, I now honour my womb.  I now LOVE my womb.  It holds so much power, power that if left untamed can create huge problems in my outer life.  I should know!  I observe and listen.  Every cycle is a new, fresh opportunity to learn.  Understanding the cycle phases now helps me immensely.  I attended a workshop with Alexandra Pope in London, which really helped me get to grips with the ideas behind cycle awareness... you can read about this here  http://naturalshaman.blogspot.co.uk/2011/11/creating-menstrual-health-workshop-with.html

My connection to the Goddess is stronger than ever.   By honouring myself, I honour her.  By loving myself, I can heal.  Being kind to myself and listening to my body's needs means my PMDD has improved ten fold.  I still struggle through some months, I still experience mood swings, but the way I deal with them has changed.  They no longer cause pain to those around me.  Friends and family are now realising that I can only do certain things at certain times of the month.  I am not a failure because I am different, or because I am sensitive to the hormone changes in my body.  If I need to rest, I need to rest.  If I can't meet up with a friend because I'm pre menstrual or bleeding, people accept that.  It takes a lot of explaining, but those that care understand, and those that don't are really friends.

I recently missed a friends wedding due to being due on and feeling low.  I was in retreat mode and just needed quiet time.  I felt awful.  I was gutted to have missed their celebration, but to go would have meant a possible melt down, and I no longer force myself to go through that.  I sent apologies and spent the weekend trying to forgive myself for letting them down.  In reality, they still had a wonderful day, and I managed to keep myself balanced and care for MY needs.

Knowing your body and mind and what you need is key.  Even with books like The Woman's Quest, every woman is an individual.  Ladies with PMDD know only too well that what works for one person, doesn't necessarily work for another.  The only way to heal is to work with your OWN body, your OWN needs, beliefs and values.  Observe and learn from your cycle.  Listen, fulfil your needs.

I will always be 'the odd one out'.  It is unlikely I will ever hold down a 'normal' job, this in turn can make life a struggle, financially and bring issues such as low self esteem, but I will find my way.  Society has very closed minded views on how we should all be.  PMDD, PMS, hormone disorders are still so misunderstood.  Women are expected to be like men.  They aren't.  Our cycles give us a full spectrum of emotions and energies throughout the month, they fluctuate.  One day, women might be allowed to utilise these cycle changes within society and the workplace, they might be respected for the different energies they hold within.  We can all but hope for this change, but I sense it will be a long process.  So long as women put up and shut up, do what they can to fit into a masculine society, we will never be heard.  Never be afraid to be female, and celebrate our differences.

Change your perspective, change your world.  It's challenging, it's exciting, but most of all, it can lead to deep healing to all women, and encourage others to follow suit.

Your womb is not the enemy.  Your ovaries are not the enemy.  YOU are your own worst enemy.  We have the power to create our world.  We have the power to stop making the same bad choices, to stop making the same mistakes.  It is possible to break the destructive cycle of PMDD.  There is no magic cure, but it IS possible to live with it, manage it and be happy.  I am living proof.

To read more of my writing about cycle awareness, follow these links:

http://naturalshaman.blogspot.co.uk/2012/06/magic-of-menstrual-cycle.html
http://naturalshaman.blogspot.co.uk/2011/11/my-healing-journey.html
http://naturalshaman.blogspot.co.uk/p/spiral-goddess.html

I decided to create a visual aid to help me understand my cycle energies.  For me, it really helped me to be able to SEE the cycle.  I created an A3 Poster.  If you are interested in the poster, please visit this link http://naturalshaman.blogspot.co.uk/p/energy-cycle-poster.html

If you are interested in reading my blog about PMDD, please go here http://meetmypmdd.blogspot.co.uk/

The symbol of feminine power.

Honour thy womb, honour thy ovaries... Honour the deep power we hold within... it is our greatest gift, giving us insight, truth, love, new life and unstoppable creativity.... ♥

https://www.facebook.com/naturalshaman

Photography by ©Mark Hall 2012 all right reserved.

The Magic of the Menstrual Cycle

The Magic of the Menstrual Cycle
Female Shamanism and Spirituality.by Cat Stone (Hawkins)
Published in Indie Shaman Magazine Jan 2012 www.indieshaman.co.uk.

Woman is by nature a shaman – Chukchee Proverb

For many years it has been believed that shamans were male.  Along with many other faiths, it has been the male that takes on the more 'powerful' role.  An uprising in Goddess faiths over the past 50 years has been trying to re-claim the feminine as an equal and valid energy.
I was always drawn to the Goddess faiths.  Paganism and witchcraft in particular.  The identification with The Goddess was for me, more natural than a male deity.  In witchcraft, a woman can strive to become a High Priestess, equal to that of the male High Priest, or as a hedge-witch, on a more solitary path, she is encouraged to develop her own strength and power, and to really learn about herself and how to tune into the natural energies around us. 

Fifty years ago, in the Czech Republic, ancient remains were found (c 30,000 bc) in the Pavlov hills.  Along with the skeleton, the archaeologists found a spear head, placed near the head of the body, traces of red ochre and a fox skeleton, held in the hand of the human remains.  The body had been buried beneath two mammoth shoulder blades, pitched together to form a roof.  It was established this was a shaman grave.  The bones were then analysed and to everybody's surprise, it was revealed to be a woman.  This began to question the long held belief that all shamans were male.

A later excavation of the site, uncovered a clay oven, full of thousands of tiny hands, feet and body parts.  Broken remnants of animal figurines were also found.  This shaman woman was an artisan, creating talismans and trinkets rather than household items.  These were the oldest forms of ceramic creations the archaeologists had ever found, and probably one of the first ever kilns.

So, the oldest shaman burial site ever found, contained the remains of a female shaman.

There are many myths surrounding women in ancient societies.  One of the biggest and most degrading is that when the tribal women menstruated, they were banished to a 'Moon Lodge' and were not allowed back to until bleeding had finished.  The idea that bleeding was dirty and needed to be kept away from the rest of the group has long been the reasoning for this. 
This is far from the reality.

Ancient societies saw the power in a menstruating woman.  Women were far more in tune with their bodies and surroundings.  They would feel the changes inside them, they would use these energies  and a woman's cycle was to be honoured.  When women left their men and children behind to menstruate with others in a safe and secluded space, they left because their energies were no longer about the outside 'normal' world.  Cooking, cleaning, and general activities were put on hold, and the women went to be alone, or to congregate together with other women during their bleed.  What mattered during this time was the inside world.  Messages, signals, voices would come to these women during their menstruation.  They would vision, journey, sleep and dream.  They would spend time contemplating and unravelling the messages.

The access to other realms becomes easier at this time.  Senses are heightened.  Sensitivity to sound, smell and light would allow a woman to become more aware.  The natural tendency to withdraw at this time of the month, allows a woman to become quiet, in tune and open to listen and feel.

Menstruation could sometimes lead to great insights for the rest of the community.  Answers were found and decisions were made based on the women's insights during menstruation.  Women were honoured and respected.  Their bodies naturally went through a cycle of death and re-birth every month in sync with the Moon, they obtained an altered state every month, without even trying.  Women bled, but did not die.  Women could provide sacrificial blood, without anything having to lose life.  Blood, life force, ancestral power... Women held it all within their cycles.

Barbara Walker, in her book Women's Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets says:

Most words for menstruation also meant such things as incomprehensible, supernatural, sacred, spirit, deity. Like the Latin sacer, old Arabian words for "pure" and "impure" both applied to menstrual blood and to that only. The Maoris stated explicitly that human souls are made of menstrual blood, which when retained in the womb "assumes human form and grows into a man". Africans said menstrual blood is "congealed to fashion a man". Aristotle said the same: human life is made of a "coagulum" of menstrual blood. Pliny called menstrual blood "the material substance of generation," capable of forming "a curd, which afterwards in process of time quickenth and groweth to the form of a body". This primitive notion of the prenatal function of menstrual blood was still taught in European medical schools up to the 18th century.

In modern society, women are so disconnected from their menstrual cycles.  Our period has become a taboo subject, something to remain private and unspoken, or make us feel embarrassed and ashamed.  Modern women try their hardest to ignore this natural rhythm, cursing their bleed and hating their cycle.  The changes in hormones within our body can have dramatic effects on our internal energy, which in turn, needs changes to be made on the outside to compensate.

To be able to use the energies of the menstrual cycle effectively, you first need to understand the 4 main phases of the cycle.  In pagan terms, visualise a wheel of the year and the 4 quarter points, Winter Solstice, Spring Equinox, Summer Solstice and Autumn Equinox.  In general terms, think of the seasons of the year.  The menstrual cycle is a cycle of creativity, and so the following principles can be applied to any creative venture.  Why is the menstrual cycle a cycle of creativity?  Because it's sole purpose is to create, to manifest.  From spark, to flame, to fire, to ashes, to spark again... it is a symbolic creative process that can be applied to many aspects of life.

The cycle comes in 4 phases:
Menstruation (days 1-7)  - Winter – Dark/New Moon - Crone
Pre-Ovulation (days 7-14)  - Spring – Waxing Moon - Maiden
Ovulation (days 14-21)  - Summer - Full Moon - Mother
Pre-Menstruation (days 21-28)   - Autumn – Waning Moon – Mother/Crone

This is based on a 28 day cycle, which is the average.  However, every cycle varies in length, so these 'brackets' may be slightly different for each woman.  The one constant is that you will always ovulate 14 days before menstruation.

By applying what we know of the seasons, we can look at the menstrual cycle in a whole different way.

The Spring (Pre-Ovulation) is a time of new growth.  It is a time of innocence and playfulness.  Light and warmth are coming back to a dark earth.  Buds are opening, the daylight is growing.  The Spring Equinox bring us promise and animals pro-creating.  The Earth is waking up.  Everything is fertile and the energy is to nurture new growth, feed it and begin to wake up from the winter's sleep.  We stretch and move again.  Test the water.  It is in this phase of the menstrual cycle we will find the energy to begin projects, to develop ideas and plan ahead.

The Summer (Ovulation) is a time to manifest.  The body is open and ready to create.  It is highly fertile and flirty.  The Sun has returned to the earth, and it's time to enjoy the sunny days.  Get out and socialise, work on projects, finish projects...  Like the Summer Solstice, we rejoice and worship the Sun.  This is the time in our cycle we need to be connecting to people and relaxing in our outside world.  It can also be a time of vulnerability, and it is important that we keep ourselves grounded.  It is all to make risky decisions or get carried away in the moment at this time.

The Autumn (Pre-Menstruation) is a time of harvest and withdrawal.  This energy can be really tough for some women.  During this phase, our focus begins to turn inwards in preparation for menstruation.  We can feel disconnected from life and our mind can become negative and critical.  We harvest and complete projects and tasks, ready to withdraw from the outside world all together, like the Autumn Equinox, we remember the past.  If the pressure is on to remain in the outside world, we can become even more confused and irritable.  This phase slows us down and brings our attention back to our own needs.  It is during this phase that women can feel out of control, and suffer from PMS or PMDD.

The Winter (Menstruation) brings our focus deep within ourselves.  We are no longer interested in the outside world.  Our mind may be busy with thoughts from the past, negative experiences or trauma.  Winter solstice is the darkest point in our year, and a time to study and learn, to keep safe and warm.  Women may experience difficult physical symptoms during this phase.  Cramps, tiredness and irritability are all signs that you need to relax into the darkness and look after yourself.  It is essential that you honour this part of the cycle.  You are in the most sacred time of the month.  Pay attention to your dreams and visions.  Sleep lots.  When we look after ourselves during our cycle, especially during this winter phase, we have a better chance of a great Spring and Summer.

When you realise the process of menstruation is so deeply connected to our spiritual energies, it opens up brand new pathways for healing and living life in sync with nature.  Unfortunately, many women still opt for the Pill or other hormonal treatments to 'cure' the mood swings, to stop the pain, or regulate the cycle.  This disconnects us from our natural healing and cycle.  It stops us from accessing our inner well of power.

Women are trying to be good wives, mothers, lovers, friends and employees, but we are also in a constant cycle.  Our energy ebbs and flows, it is powerful and won't be denied or ignored  It is where it draws our attention that is critical.  If our natural energy wants to retreat during pre-menstruation, but we ignore that and force ourselves to work against that, we will almost certainly end up more stressed.  Life will feel difficult, and you will feel more tired and angry.  I believe women with PMS and the more extreme form PMDD are suffering from disconnection from their cycles.  They are working against the body's natural rhythm and the knock on effects can be devastating.

It is easy to begin working with the cycle.  Observe, listen and feel the energies.  If you need more information, I would recommend reading The Women's Quest Workbook by Alexandra Pope www.womensquest.org.  It was this book that has really helped me to realise how to work with my cycle in a spiritual way, and it kick started my own healing and understanding.
I have recently attended a Creating Menstrual Health workshop with Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer in London.  It was so reassuring to hear other women's stories and experiences with their cycles.  It has opened me up further to the world of possibilities that lie in working with the menstrual cycle and I get to practice a full cycle every month!  I would highly recommend the workshop if you want to go deeper into your own cycle.  You can read more about my day at the workshop here, http://naturalshaman.blogspot.co.uk/2011/11/creating-menstrual-health-workshop-with.html

There are also many groups popping up online and all around the globe.  In America, many women are starting up Red Tent Temple's.  A space for women to gather and talk and learn from each other.  Some good places to start are:

http://alisastarkweather.com/
http://awakeningwomen.com/

or just simple Google Red Tent Temple and your country/city to see what's going on where you live.

The cycle does not stop during and after menopause.  Although the body may stop a physical cycle, the spiritual aspect continues,  often syncing with the moon cycle, and in this Crone phase of life, the energies are even more powerful and deep.

Women do not learn magic, women are magic.  It is nature, it is our birthright, and we should be forever thankful for the opportunities our menstrual cycles bring us.  Women are Natural Shamans, they just need to understand and use the power they hold within.

About Cat Stone

I am an artist living in the beautiful Hampshire countryside.  I have two wonderful children (both girls) and a dog called Ember.  Over the past 15 years I have been involved in witchcraft, paganism, tarot, healing, astrology,mandalas, sacred geometry, aromatherapy, colour therapy and crystals.  I am a qualified aromatherapist and have studied the tarot.  My journey has always been made difficult as I have had Pre Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder since I began my periods age 13.  After years of suffering from this severe mood disorder and every medication making the problem worse, I have decided to walk my own path to healing.  I am medication and birth control free for the first time ever and have never felt better in my life.  If I can turn my life around by making friends with my cycle and learn from it, love it rather than hate it, then anyone can!

I have created a unique poster to illustrate the energy of the menstrual cycle, and am hoping to go further with my studies in working with and understanding menstruation.  I believe that women need to re-claim and re-connect with their cycle and I hope my poster will help to plant the seeds...

The A3 poster and further information is available from http://naturalshaman.blogspot.co.uk/p/energy-cycle-poster.html

© Cat Stone 2012


Facts about Menstruation:

• Scholars suggest that pre-modern men and women learned to think numerically by recognizing relationships between groups of numbers that were also units of time measured through menstrual rites.
• Menstruation may have led to humanity’s sense of time as most early lunar calendars were based on the length of a women’s menstrual cycle.
• The term “ritual” is derived from the Sanskrit word R’tu, which means “menstrual.” This etymology suggests that ritual in a general sense and menstrual acts have a common origin.
• At one point in history, women who complained of menstrual cramps (dysmenorrhea) were sent to psychiatrists because menstrual cramps were seen as a rejection of one’s femininity.
• Menstruating blood was often seen as sacred. Sacred means both “set apart” and “cursed.
• The word taboo comes from the Polyneisain tapua, meaning both “sacred” and “menstruation
• Scholars suggest that as matriarchy gave way to patriarchy, menstrual blood taboos were used by men to control women and, consequently, menstrual blood was interpreted away from something powerful to a “disgusting” waste product that had no role in the reproductive process.

(sourced from http://facts.randomhistory.com/random-facts-about-menstruation.html)

10 days left...

.....to see my online exhibition!  Get on over there!

http://beingagoddessisanaturalbornright.com/the-awakened.html

and my article...
http://beingagoddessisanaturalbornright.com/a-little-of-this.html

Follow 'The Path' link to read all the other lovely articles and ideas included on the site. ♥

Much love to Being a Goddess is a Natural Born Right

xx

Incy Wincy Spider

Incy Wincy spider climbed up the water spout
Down came the rain and washed the spider out
Out came the sunshine and dried up all the rain
and Incy Wincy spider went up the spout again!

No... I havent lost it completely.  It just dawned on me that this little nursery rhyme sums up our menstrual cycle!

We are Incy Wincy Spider, climbing up the spout.  That is life, that's part of our cycle.  Incy Wincy starts out at the bottom of the pipe... slowly slowly... starting the journey to the top.  The Spider reaches the top and see's storm clouds brewing.  Incy grips on for dear life, she knows she may not make it through the storm.  It start's to rain, and despite Incy Wincy's attempts to hold on to the top of the pipe.. the rain washes her out.  So now she is wet, dumped on the ground below.  She looks to the top of the spout again, and it seems so far away, but the Sun comes up, dries up the rain and dries off Incy Wincy, and she feels full of life and energy to start the journey again.  Remind you of our monthly battle against our hormones?

The water element represented in the spout and the rain is another feminine symbol.  Water is fluid and changeable, just like out emotions.  Hormones are like a drop of ink into a glass of water, they spread through the body, permeating everything.  Water and the feminine, would then connect us to the Moon...  the shadow, the storms.  Then the Sun comes out and everything is good again!  This little rhyme is packed with symbolism!

I have always been interested in the symbols behind our stories, myths and legends, so why not interpret this little rhyme!?

The spider is an interesting symbol.  The spider represents creativity, fertility, harmony and balance.  It is also symbolic of the past and the future.
There are many tales of Spider women in different cultures.  Many traditions consider the spider as the weaver of the fabric of life where they introduce both writing and the making in clothes.

In America storytellers composed myths of a spider woman who was present at the dawn of creation before humans were created. The spider woman taught people how top weave.....
The Spider symbol is associated to creativity and cunning always seen when the spider is dangling at the end of its thread. The symbol here will therefore be a sign of good luck because different communities think that it is bringing down joy from heaven. Amongst weavers it is a symbol of their craft. Spider is associated negatively in Europe because it is associated to hangover from the days of the Plague where it was thought to have spread the disease. Sourced from http://www.animal-symbols.com/spider-symbol.html

In Greek Mythology, the Goddess Arachne, was turned into the first spider.  Her father was a shepherd, who dyed wool the most beautiful of shades of purple.  Arachne was a skilled weaver, and was famous for her tapestries.  It was thought that Athena was the best weaver in the land, and she had taught Arachne to weave.  Arachne had challenged her to see who had the greater talent.
Athena's tapestry was holy, depicting the Gods and Goddesses in all their beauty.  Arachne's tapestry, although just as brilliant in execution, showed the ungodly side of the world, including Athena's father Zeus in compromising situations with the women he seduced and cheated with.

Illustration by Giovanni Caselli

In disgust, and fury, Athena ripped Arachne's tapestry to shreds.  Arachne had insulted the deities.  She realised that the truth being told in that way was too bold, that others were not happy to have such reality laid out before them.  She became so depressed and ashamed that she hung herself.

Athena, took pity on Arachne, and decided to let her live.  But as punishment she would forever hang, spin and weave.  She turned Arachne into a spider for being so vain as to believe she had a right to comment on the behavior of the Gods.

The message in this story is more of a warning.  The risk a woman takes (especially if she is talented) when she speaks out against the grain, when she questions authority, or an established order is high.  We are reminded that to speak the truth is to come from a place of love and compassion.

Anything said out of hatred, ego or pride will always hurt the person involved and more than likely you yourself.

I love it when my brain takes me off on a tangent, and then all the things I research connects in some way.

Just like Arachne, we can develop this brash kind of truth telling.  Some call it The Critic, or the Bitch.  It's when we feel we are being challenged, and we panic.  The hormones are rushing and we lose all sense of what is right and wrong.  Our tongue becomes spiteful, we spew fury from a place of hate, believing we all of a sudden have the right to criticise others and 'tell them a thing or too'.  When we are in this place, we have to try and find calm.  Try and remember that the force we are feeling is hormonal and that the people around us are not 'out to get us' or purposely annoy us.  The only path this will lead us to is depression, feeling terrible and regretful and in some cases, (such as ladies with PMDD) suicidal.

If we can learn to look after ourselves during our Autumn and Winter phases and not expect everyone around us to figure out whats going on in our minds (especially when we don't know half the time either) we can have an easier time.  Truth, given kindly and from a place of love, will have better response from our loved ones.  If we can feel a storm, we don't have to drag everyone down with us.  It's batten down the hatches time.  It's tell your partner you need extra sleep that afternoon, or you have to go for a walk, or get away from the house.  You don't need to scream and tell them that everything they are doing is annoying, or wail and exclaim how unloved you feel.  If you have people around you who love you, they are there because they love you...  Just take yourself off somewhere to calm those irritable thoughts.  Stop the spring getting wound till it pings.

Incy Wincy could give up, she could throw a tantrum about the fact it rained again, but whats the point?  Why waste all that energy?  She has a spout to climb!

If you are interested in reading more about stories and their symbolism, I would recommend the book, Women who run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes.

Obviously, this is just my interpretation, and others may look at it differently!


Many Blessings!

Bees and The Goddess

Melissa – Goddess of the Bees by Cat 2012

Prismacolor, fine liners, acrylic paint.

Bees are sacred to Venus, they are the symbol of the Goddess and the Sacred Feminine. Venus is the ultimate feminine energy. Venus rules Fridays, beauty, harmony and nectar of life. She is the Goddess of Love. She represents joy, rapture, art, music, food, indulgence, attraction, desire. In Greek mythology Venus is Aphrodite from whose name comes the word "aphrodisiac," that which induces desire.

For the rest of this blog, please go to http://chaoticat.com/news/2013/1/27/melissa

© Cat Hawkins 2012

Blessed Bee xx

New Moon in Aries

...and words flow out.

If you forget.

I want you to know that no matter what, you are loved, wanted, needed and valued.
I want you to know that no matter how bad you feel, I'll be here to hold your hand and comfort you. I want you to know I love your smile, your laugh and your tears. You represent what it is to be human, and I embrace your honesty and truth. You are unique. You are perfect... and I want you to remember that.

I want you to know that however dark things seem, however unsettled you feel, I am here for you. I want you to realise that within the darkness, great lessons can be learned, for no one walks this Earth in eternal daylight. You do not walk alone, for I am by your side. Night will always turn into day. Day will always turn into night, so lets watch the sunset together and be reminded of how beautiful life is.

Where ever there is a rift, there is a gift. Where ever there is weakness, there is deep strength. You may feel life is hard, challenging, or unfair. That you drew the short straw or were dealt a bad hand. I want you to know there is no such thing, for you are blessed with life, and life is neither black or white, good or bad, but a mixture of the two and all the colours in between.

When times feel bleak, and you are wishing you hadn't been born, remember that I would miss you. You're presence is noted and the world would not be the same without you. No one else is you, only YOU can be you, and to lose that, is to lose something that could never be replaced. You are divine. You are a Goddess. You are my best friend.

I want you to know that you are strong, and with that strength you are an inspiration to others. I want you to know that I will love you whether you are happy or sad, because both have value, and both are essential for your well being.
I want you to know that you are not a mistake, a freak, a weirdo, useless, worthless or a waste of space. You are precious, your life is precious, and I am honored to know you.

If you forget, in a moment of madness that you are all these things and more. I will be there to remind you. If you get scared, I will protect you. If you feel lost, I will find you. No one is better than you, no one has it all, so stop beating yourself up and start accepting yourself. See yourself how I see you, perfect in every way.
The way you were meant to be.

You are divine. You are a Goddess. You are unique. You are perfect.

I love you.


© Cat Stone 2012