Wednesday, 26 December 2012

Why don't women recognise the power they hold?

A male friend of mine asked this on Facebook today, I wrote a bit in reply and thought I would share for you here.  David is also my current astrology teacher and I would highly recommend checking out his online courses and his readings.  You can find him here and on his Facebook page.

Ladies, I am confused ...

I keep seeing posts that read is if some women believe that the world would be nicer, safer, more harmonious and less hostile if women had more power ...
and then, I read in neuroscience and biology and psychology books that a mother is The primary influence in child's brain development/character

which means that women are The most powerful people in the shaping of the trajectory of a boy's, or a man's character

so I have 2 questions:

1 - how come you do not recognize the vast power you already have ?

2 - since you already have the power to initially shape the path of mankind, how come there is so much hostility ?

is it that, regardless of our gender, that all healthy humans are capable of experiencing every type of human emotion; that men can be sensitive and women can be angry ... etc ?

Would it not be better if we stopped blaming others for circumstances and began looking at what we can change within ourselves to make life easier and better for everyone ?

just a thought ...

My reply, was as follows...

I think that there is a definite up-surgence in the 'feminine principles' or the following of the Divine Feminine and I too have seen and know personally the anger that women hold.  Any woman who thinks that the world would be 'better if women were in power is missing the point.  It's not about women ruling over men or vice versa (we have plenty of experience of the latter)  it's about allowing women to be women and men to be men, and accepting and embracing the differences held within each.  It's only through the coming together of the male and female that we experience wholeness, and I mean that in all senses.  Within our own selves and in outer relationships.  It's about reaching a balance.

Women have for centuries been held back, repressed and written out of all aspects of history.  As women we have experienced mass genocide and propaganda.  The problem lies in the lack of knowledge.  Women in 2012 do not necessarily have the support that our ancestors would have.  Who teaches the mothers?  Who is there to help raise our children?  Once upon a time, grandmothers, great grandmothers, sisters and aunts would have helped collectively to raise a child, along with the men showing the boy child how to be a man.. rites of passage, the passing on of knowledge.  A man has a massive part in raising a boy, more so, in the ways of setting a good example and teaching the child.  A mothers love and knowledge can only go so far.

Girls these days getting pregnant only a few years after starting to menstruate mean they have no experience or knowledge in theer own bodies, let alone the raising of a child.  Even older ladies may have no connection to their cycles due to years of birth control.  The connection to pregnancy and birth is not as strong when you rely on medical intervention and don't trust or know you're own body.

In answer to your questions...

1.  How come you do not recognize the vast power you already have ?

How can we?  We have not been taught how awesome the power we have is.  Not unless we were lucky enough to have a mother or mother figures to learn from.  I have barely known my own mother through my life, so where do I turn for information...  EVEN IF she had been there, she was not aware of her power, and nor was my Grandmother before her.  No one taught them.  In my own history, my Grandmother, Anglo Indian, born in India, her mother before her, born in India... no records kept, my G Grandmother was married at 16 and had 7 kids.  But she was a woman in India, and even now in that culture, some women hold little or no power and have very little say in their own lives.  So, I digress..  Many women will go through thier whole lives unaware of what they have the power to achieve and the responsibility they hold, but it is not their fault.  Women have been told for centuries that their basic bodily fuctions are something to be ashamed of, something to be 'cured'.  Men were at the forefront of all the developments, treatments, understandings...  why? because the passing on of knowledge through mother to daughter, generation to generation has been lost or ignored.  Men have tried to understand the mysteries, but then we deny our own knowledge and believe that they know us better than we do.
If we are cursed, if we are inferior, if we are not worth the same in societies eyes then how do we believe we are not cursed, inferior or worth the same as men.  Feminism went some way to try and bring balance, but I feel it simply tipped it in the opposite direction, the pendulum swinging.  What we need to find now is that balance.

2.  Since you already have the power to initially shape the path of mankind, how come there is so much hostility ?

There is hostility because women are angry their ancestors were badly treated for things we know now to be normal.  That the misunderstanding and intolerance has meant that we have not had the mysteries and knowledge passed to us.  I can weep for the women who died in the witch trials, for my ancestors who may have died for simply being women in the wrong place at the wrong time, for the babies that have not had a chance in life because of the cultures we have now.  I am angry that women do not play as bigger part in our history books as men do, that I have been made to feel an outcast from society for embracing my cycle and femininity.
I do not feel we can make much headway with anger, but I do feel it is justified.

It is not just a womans job to raise a child, but is is one of the most important jobs a woman can do.  Unfortunately again, I see a cultural problem.  Women since the 60's have been told they have to go out to work, be equal to men.  They need to do this along with bringing children in to the world and raising them..  If they choose work, they are called powerful, successful..  if they choose motherhood they are asked why they didn't want more out of life.. if they choose both, they have barely enough time to enjoy both aspects, and the pressure is on to be the best at it all.  All this with usually very little family support as the rest of the family are too, doing the same thing... trying to be the best at it all cos that's what we 'should' have in our lives.

It's a complicated topic, and one I feel strongly about, so apologies for the long reply!
I don't believe we as women are the most important people in shaping men, I think men need to take some responsibility for that.  It is men that set the examples to younger men of what a man is, and how you treat the women in your lives.  Women may have power, men may have power, but it's both that is needed to shape a new human being.

With love
Cat x

Wednesday, 19 December 2012

Are you ready for Christmas?

What part of your cycle will you be in over the Christmas break?  If you suffer from PMS or PMDD it can be helpful to know!

I'm feeling blessed as I am currently on day 4, so in 6 days time, I'll be hitting ovulation and will hopefully be able to enjoy the festivities without lack of energy getting in the way.  I do feel like I've lost a load of time this week having to retreat and rest, so I am slightly anxious at the moment. I'm not a party person, but I do like being able to enjoy the company of others without PMDD stresses getting in the way!  What I will have to watch however are my frustrations and anxiety, as ovulation can so easily tip from energy and excitement into anxiety and anger.

Where will you be in 6 days time?

'Cycle' scopes for Christmas 2012!

Days 1-7 - Menstruation
If you are due to bleed just before or on Christmas/Boxing day then try to get things organised while you are still pre-menstrual.  During menstruation we need quiet time and to relax and rest.   This may be difficult with Christmas arrangements.  Hopefully, if you were aware that your sacred time was due to fall at such a busy time, you may have been able to plan ahead. Maybe saying no to invites out to social situations that would be too much for you at this time.  If staying at home with the family can mean just as much stress, then be open.   Make sure you partner knows that you will be in a retreat time of the month and you may need to rest.. EVEN if it's Christmas.. PMDD does not know it's Christmas!  If you don't feel like cooking, then maybe taking Mum up on the invite might actually be better and relieve some pressure.  Call on others to help, and if you need to rest and take some quiet time out then make sure loved ones know that it's just because you need it to stay well, and not because they have done something to upset you.  If you can muster up enough energy to visit family then maybe limit the time you are there. Sometimes getting out, even though we feel terrible can actually help.  Go easy on yourself, and remember a walk outside can help with pain and stress.. Menstruation relates to winter, so at Christmas you have a 'double dose' of winter as it were.  You may find yourself deep in reflection of the past year and considering what 2013 may bring.  It may be difficult to get through, but when you do you'll be over the worst ready for the bright shiny new year!

Days 7-14 - Pre Ovulation
If you are due to be in the pre ovulation stage of your cycle, Christmas may feel a bit too much.   You may find it hard to get into the swing of things, especially if you have just finished bleeding and the last week before Christmas was a crazy panic as you had tons to do but no energy to do them in. You may feel the energy coming back and with it a sense of optimism and happiness, and excitement about Christmas.   Don't let anything you forgot to do, or couldn't get done in time cause you stress.  It's ONE day.   Nothing is ever perfect and remember that all those rosy images you see plastered over the TV screens and adverts are just that.. fantasy.  You may experience anxiety, with the rushing of energy back into your being, but just take some breaths and remember that everything is OK.   You may decide YOUR party time this year is over new year's eve, when you will be ovulating. You also might hit the sales to find the perfect present for yourself!  You'll reach new year wanting to manifest new things with ovulation.   Ovulation has an energy similar to spring, with new life returning to the earth.  You may want to start looking at some new years resolutions over Christmas, plant the seed.  It will be easier to bring into fruition in January.

Day 14-21 - Ovulation
Ovulation over the Christmas period may mean you are feeling good and ready for the festive season. Pre ovulation may have seen you preparing and organising for Christmas.   The rush in energy may have seen you rushing around buying and making last minute presents.  You're spirits may be high and you may be feeling good about any social events you have planned.  The energy is social and busy, it relates to Summer.   Many women have a challenging time with ovulation, the pressure to be 'out there' for some personalities is too much.   The worry about how we look and appear to the world. Some ladies like make up and getting dressed up, some don't.  Which ever category you are in, be YOU.  If you have a fancy party to go to but hate getting dressed up, and therefore that is causing anxiety, then just go in something you like. Bend the rules and find something smart but casual.. it's Christmas!  If you don't want to go, and going will create a disasterous situation then don't go, but don't beat yourself up about it for the rest of the holidays.  Beware of ovulation anger and frustration. With everyone being home at Christmas we can easily become angered and irritated by people, especially those close.   Usually it's because there is something we want to do, but we are not being allowed, or for some reason it can't happen.  This is a good time to practice letting things go and re focusing on the things we CAN do.  Acknowledge that we are upset and why, then move on..  As we tip over into pre menstruation, we will experience fluctuating symptoms and our mood can drop. Remember that as much as we will the bad days to pass, we should try and make the most of the better days too.  New year may feel a bit of a drag to you, so try to have a good Christmas, the cycle is working with you here, so there is every possibility you could have a REALLY good Christmas!

Days 21-28 - Pre Menstruation
If you will be due on your period at Christmas then you may find it all a bit of a struggle.
The pre menstrual time brings an energy of slowing down and withdrawing, the opposite of what Christmas is all about.  Pre menstruation relates to autumn, and to me that means unsettled weather. Some beautiful bonus sunny days and some right 'orrible ones.  So do what you can.  Ask others to help.  Try and keep Christmas simple and relaxed.  It's a bit late now to pull out of plans that might have been made, but if you really feel you cannot go to something, remember to try and explain things in a calm way, and that it's no ones fault! THIS is when you need to delegate and organise.  Ovulation the week before Christmas may have meant you've had some fun spending and organising presents.  You may have felt full of hope and happiness, but as the wheel turns and you get closer to the big day, you may feel your spirits dropping and your energy flagging. Remember this is not your fault, it just is the way things ebb and flow.   Make sure loved ones know you are due on and might be cranky (or that they need to be on crisis alert).  This also means that you will be bringing in the new year with your bleed.   Not the greatest scenario, but one that can't be helped.  The new year is a time of contemplation, reflection and thoughts to the future.   You can use your sacred time over new year to really look at 2012 and what you have learned, how far you have come and what you want for 2013.

Make sure YOU take the steps you need to to get through the season.  We can explain things to others and in turn they can help, but if you don't let others know, your moods and actions can be taken in the wrong way.  Running up to bed on Christmas day may seem rude or selfish, but not if you've explained.  An hour or two in bed may mean you have a happier evening, rather than end up snapping at the kids or your partner.  You have to look after your own needs, and put things in place so that you avoid as much stress as possible.

Christmas can be a really challenging time for many, whether you have PMDD or not, so try and prepare a little.  One of the good things about PMDD is it is usually quite predictable, so we can look a week or two ahead and get an idea of where we will be in our cycle.

I hope this little blog helps, and I hope that your Christmas passes without any form of crisis.

If you do find yourself alone and in a dark place, please don't hesitate to contact someone.   If there are no friends or family you can call on then make note of your local helpline numbers. Don't suffer alone.  If you are a member of mine or any other support groups, remember you can always post in there, even if it's quieter at this time of year, someone will respond, and sometimes support comes from unlikely places.

Sending much love and many Yuletide blessings!
Cat xx 

Support lines in the UK

Samaritans - 08457 90 90 90 (24-hour helpline)
Confidential support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair.

Sane - 0845 767 8000 (daily, 6pm-11pm)
Charity offering support and carrying out research into mental illness.

Monday, 3 December 2012

Christmas crafts!

I've been getting crafty, and am currently taking commissions for hand made light catchers.

My light catchers are hand made from recycled glass jewellery, lamp work beads, vintage crystal beads, gemstone beads, hand cut mirrors and sparkly prism drops. 

Prices range from £10 to £15 plus p&p.  I mainly make these to order, however now and then you may find some ready made on my page.

You can order by contacting me on through my Facebook page

These are my most recent creations...

I have also been making toadstools for the Christmas tree!  I made a set of these a few years ago now, and every year, they take pride of place.  This year, I have made some sets to sell, as so many people said how much they liked them!  Again, if you would like some, please contact me on my Facebook page as soon as possible.  I make these in small batches, so they sell out quickly!  I will make to order, so please get in touch.

13 Toadstools hand made by Cat Hawkins.  A fairy ring for your tree! £10+p&p